HEISMAN WINNERS UNTIL 2070 SCRIPT LEAKED 🚨🚨🚨

Well that game sucked. Time to jack off

Mayor Adena Ishii if you're reading this we'd like to talk to you about an opportunity to build 2,500+ units of high-density housing on a lot at 2227 Piedmont that is not being utilized

Is there anything else you’d like to discuss with the class

We are monitoring the situation

Stay off my turf tubby. Fries in the bag @thefreepeach

State of the Program

2026 Big Game preview

Cal will be wearing Banana colored jerseys versus Clemson in solidarity with Minion Rush [source: @CalFootball]

Nam Le has been sentenced to a cage match with the Bootysnatcher, a member of the football staff had reported to CalCentel

BREAKING: The University of Michigan has been ranked the #1 public university in the nation. Cal and UCLA Alumni across the nation are in disbelief that their sense of identity has been erased. Reports also state that rope and shotgun shells have sold out in Berkeley and Westwood

The California Golden Bears play football tomorrow

CalCentel would like to apologize for the hex we inadvertently put on Steve Angeli. We unfortunately do not know how to reverse it. Good luck Cuse

The FDA has announced a recall of Malört due to possible contamination with bear fur, per sources

Dakota Johnson and Machine Gun Kelly are reportedly dating, per NY Post & TMZ

Early Wagner oppo research has created more questions than answers

i mean conceptually we were kind of right

OIL UP @TheOttoOrange