President Trump renames the United States of America to "America of America" after studies prove one America was leaving money on the table. follytimes.com/ve10
Because nothing inspires people like hearing an hour-long lecture about how NASA was "limping along" until Trump saved it.
Folly Times retweeted
I totally envision Trump renaming the San Andreas Fault to Joe Biden’s Fault, and I am just putting this out there so I can say I predicted it one day.
BREAKING: Trump threatens to siphon three feet of water to Texas if Canada fails to settle its $40B "Lake America" 🇺🇸 utility bill by next month.
Folly Times retweeted
The disgraced former mayor of New York, Rudy (I was just tucking in my shirt) Giuliani, has threatened to sue me for defamation over an interview in which I never said his name. No one even mentioned him.
I want to apologize to Rudy. Going forward I will be certain to say his name directly.
Rudy, you worked with known Russian agents and their proxies to spread lies about me and my father. Their names are Andrii Derkach, Konstantin Kulyk, Andriy Telizhenko and Oleksandr Dubinsky and more. Kulyk handed you a dossier filled with disinformation. You flew to Kyiv in December 2019 to sit down with Derkach, then went on television with him to sell his bullshit tapes.
Trump’s own national security adviser warned the White House that what you brought back was Russian disinformation. You kept going.
Then Trump’s own Treasury Secretary, Steven Mnuchin, sanctioned Derkach in September 2020 as an active Russian agent for over a decade, for spreading the same lies you are still spitting. Four months later, on his way out the door, Mnuchin sanctioned the rest of your sources. Kulyk. Telizhenko. Dubinsky. Eleven people and four media front companies in all. Not sanctioned by me. Not by my father. By Donald Trump’s Treasury Department.
And remember Vienna Rudy. In October 2019 you, Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman had tickets to fly there to collect a hard drive, courtesy of Dmytro Firtash, an indicted oligarch who has spent a decade in Vienna fighting extradition to the United States. Lev and Igor were arrested at Dulles holding one-way tickets. You canceled yours the next morning. That was way before a computer repairman in Wilmington was ever a twinkle in your eye.
So please, @RudyGiuliani. Please, please sue me. Discovery will be a joy for everyone.
Donald Trump says if you're offended by a 200-year building upgrade rather than the fact that no other president cared enough to Make the White House Great Again, you deserve high rent and inflation.
Minnesota public unanimously approves superhero’s swift jaw correction administered directly to neo-Nazi prick, Jack Lang.
The DOJ looked at the Epstein list and admitted "Yeah, if we arrest these guys, who is going to run Wall Street on Monday?"
If you're still getting angry about insider trading instead of just copying the President's public stock disclosures to pay off your mortgage, that's on you.
follytimes.com/wstp
President Trump says if Wall Street won't lower borrowing costs voluntarily, sending the military to storm trading desks and demand 3.5% mortgage rates at gunpoint is only option. follytimes.com/ngy2
Trump: “A top staffer wrote me a letter, very beautiful letter...”
Melania: “She follows you around with a portable wireless printer and a diaper bag.”
TRUMP: “It used to be Hormuz, nobody could spell it. Now it’s called Trump's International Big Beautiful Blue Trench”
What are your plans for the Housing Bill, Mr. President?" "I don't know. It's just so unimportant. It's a yawn."
MAGA PROBLEM: Americans spending 50% of their paycheck on rent will be relieved to learn that housing policy is officially a snooze fest.
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Trump: “A top economist came up to me with tears in his eyes and said... Sir, I have studied 200 years of financial history, and nobody has ever turned an economy around in 19 months quite like you did Mr. President sir.”
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TRUMP JUST CLASSIFIED YOUR HAMBURGER
Under a new trade deal, beef will now be officially graded Unclassified, Confidential, Secret, or Top Secret. follytimes.com/6j5e
New Flock cameras feature machine guns for proactive defense. Compliance rate is 98%. The other 2% are now "learning curves."
FULL STORY 🔗 follytimes.com/2cik
President Trump admitted he hates seeing good financial data. Now the Treasury is asking consumers to take drastic action before Friday.
FULL STORY: follytimes.com/as0k