Black Fettuccine

In case you didn't watch sports today: >🏈Josh Jacobs celebrated a TD by pretending he was in handcuffs after getting arrested on domestic abuse charges in the offszn >🏀Killian Hayes signed with Maccabi Tel Aviv >🏀Sophie Cunningham said the FBI is keeping an eye on about 20 people for her safety >🏈Christian Watson left TNF in an ambulance, went to local hospital, drove back to the stadium & ran straight from the ambulance back onto the field & caught a pass (vid in replies) >🏈Bears traded two 1st round picks & a 4th to the Titans for Jeffery Simmons >🏈Packers beat Panthers 27-19 on TNF >🏀Dream beat Valkyries 80-69 in G6 of the WNBA Finals (being played at 12:30 in the afternoon btw) to force the first Game 7 in WNBA history >🏀Joe Mazzulla revealed he uses Claude AI to help build the Celtics' game plans >🏀Kawhi Leonard was ruled out for "close to a month at least" with knee swelling >🏀Anthony Edwards had minor surgery on his right knee & could be out up to 2 months >🏀Hawks beat Cavs 114-111 — Onyeka Okongwu dropped 29 & 12 >🏀Pelicans beat Kings 132-120 for their first win of the season -Kings rookie Darius Acuff Jr. dropped 34 & 14 ast & has now taken 20+ shots in all 5 of his first NBA games (only Wilt Chamberlain had done that before) >🏀Ben Simmons said the league has never seen a player like him & he's "more than capable" of playing in the NBA >🏀Charles Barkley called LeBron practicing his golf swing during the anthem "very disrespectful" >🏀Mavs reported their lowest home attendance in nearly 25 years last night >🏀An Atlanta Dream fan went on the news covered head to toe in a blanket & sunglasses cuz she was skipping out on work to be at the game & didn't wanna be seen (pic in replies) >🏀Ja Morant was ruled out for the rest of the Grizzlies' game vs Portland with a hamstring injury >🏈Caleb Williams got fined again for wearing the wrong cleats ($23,882, which is double last week's) >🏈Reports came out that the Colts value Jonathan Taylor close to 2022 CMC when it comes to trading him & want a 1st-round pick -CMC was traded for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th >🏈Bears reportedly are "close to a deal" that keeps them in Illinois >🏈June Jones, the coach who made the run-and-shoot famous, died at 73 >🏈The NFL reportedly flexed the ref crew from last week's Packers-Lions game OFF SNF this week due to their terrible performance in last week >⚽️Jack Grealish was dropped by Everton for a "breach of club discipline" after reportedly skipping training -Earlier today he donated £10K to an Everton fan battling aggressive cancer >⚽️Ivan Toney pleaded not guilty to an assault charge & his trial got set for June 2028 >⚽️CAF confirmed AFCON is going back to every 2 years (2027, 2028, 2031, 2033) >⚽️Cristiano Ronaldo scored a hat-trick as Al Nassr beat Al Kholood 5-3 in Saudi Pro League -Ronaldo is now on 985 career goals >⚽️Reports came out that Newell's Old Boys are working on bringing Messi back to his hometown club in Argentina as early as January 2027 >⚽️AC Milan & Inter announced their new stadium replacing San Siro will be called the Generali Stadium >⚽️Carlos Tevez confirmed Messi will play in his farewell game at La Bombonera on Dec 20 >⚽️Arsenal's appeal of 16 y/o Max Dowman's red card got rejected; he'll miss the next 3 games >⚽️Everton beat Newcastle 3-1 in the Carabao Cup to reach the QFs where the mighty Fleetwood Town await them >⚽️Women's Champions League results: -🇪🇸Barcelona 8-0 🇩🇰HB Køge -🇮🇹Juventus 4-1 🇦🇹Austria Vienna -🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Man City 1-1 🇫🇷PSG -🇫🇷Paris FC 1-1 🇸🇪Häcken >⚽️I did a full football recap on my account earlier if you wanna check it out >🏒Dylan Larkin told the Red Wings he no longer wants to play for them, so they suspended him without pay -He's losing $41K a day >🏒A big fight started after Hayden Hodgson came flying across the ice & drilled Brandt Clarke from behind, face-first, into the boards (vid in replies) >🏒Logan Cooley completed a hat trick for Utah with 1 second left in the 3rd, tying the game at 3 before Utah scored the winner in OT >🏒Viktor Arvidsson scored a hat trick as Red Wings beat Blackhawks 4-1 without Larkin >🏒Tage Thompson scored 2 goals in 15 seconds to complete his hat trick vs the Ducks (vid in replies) >⚾️A Dominican appeals court revoked Wander Franco's pardon in his sex abuse of a minor case >⚾️Milwaukee Public Schools closed all schools tomorrow for the Brewers parade >⚾️Bo Bichette exercised his player option to stay with the Mets >🏈Troy beat James Madison on a walk-off FG as 19.5-point underdogs after trailing 14-0 (vid in replies) >🏈Colorado QB Julian Lewis suffered a medical emergency at the team facility & was hospitalized >🇺🇸Michelle Beadle said women in sports media could never act like Pat McAfee: "I could never be that soft" >Let me know what I missed If you love sports but don't have time to endlessly scroll Twitter all day — I post one of these recaps every night... Follow & turn on post notifications pookie