Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal) header
Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal) profile picture

Deborah

@WifeEyeSignal

I did something exciting once - okay it was ages ago and just that one time, but it still counts, right? Anyway I’ve linked more tweets below. First one’s free.

tinyurl.com/2whknj4s
Joined September 2012
  • Tweets10K
  • Following1.5K
  • Followers1.3K
346Media
Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)Photo by Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)
How can you tell if a woman is a vegetarian if you’ve never met herbivore?
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Twitter isn’t for fighting it’s for finding 10-20 witty people to joke with in between working.
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Inside you are two quokkas, making you way cuter than all those people with two wolves inside them Jokes aside, quokka smuggling is a serious offence and I am placing you under arrest
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You’re…you’re welcome
Image from meghan (@deloisivete)
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Instructor: "Welcome to salsa class! Who's ready to learn how to dance?" Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."
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My family crest is a bunch of red flags woven together like a wreath
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If the grammar police arrest you, there’s no parole - you have to serve the full sentence.
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secret Santa, but it's just me hiding my credit card bill from myself until January
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Oh your community garden features heritage kale and three types of mint? That’s cute. Mine grows emojis.
Image from Deborah (@WifeEyeSignal)
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Adderall be like, “Come on, bestie. Let’s solve a mystery.”
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Sex is great and all, but have you ever finished your shampoo and conditioner at the same time?
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Going to a dark place if anyone wants anything
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I won't tell anyone if I win the lottery ... but there will be signs
Image from A-Moo’s Bouche 🐮 (@AsclepiasRosa)
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Me: *looking around in surprise* You have medieval bards that show up once a month? Sometimes when you least expect it? Her: *shrugs* It's my minstrel cycle.
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I’m not sure this box of poison should have the word “treats” so prominently displayed.
Image from Ben Jenkins (@bencjenkins)
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So disappointed the first tweet was "just setting up my twttr" when it could've been something like "L'eggs implies the existence of L'birds."
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Deborah retweeted
7ach (@bankofskol2) profile picture
7ach@bankofskol223 Jul 2020
I’m fine. *shovels another handful of shredded cheese from the bag directly in to my mouth* Like I said... I am fine.
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The West Coast is the Best Coast, the East Coast is the Least Coast, the South Coast is the Mouth Coast and the North Coast … Couldn’t really say. It’s beyond our borders. You must never go there, Simba.
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I'm still waiting for a version of Home Alone where the family takes a trip and leaves the mom behind.
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