al bedazzle

My patreon policy is now Pay What U Can Afford, every1 gets same benefits regardless of how much $ u can give. Also there r mad benefits. Patreon.com/alanonymous

Imagine if we still cheered and banged our pots and pans for the Essential Workers who have to work on holidays

Imagine naming ur daughters Loser and Lover and not having a favorite

I can’t stop thinking abt this

My brain just unlocked the memory of Saturn and Mercury cars

Im 45 and still on my dad’s phone plan, no clu what a phone bill even looks like

Getting back together w an ex more than once is incest

Any girl who figured out she can sing like Amy winehouse is a girl capable of car crash murder suicide

Why are tennis ppl normalizing/celebrating making those grunt noises it’s mad weird/gross

Ur a wizard Howard

Meanwhile

I am way too old to be encountering ppl inspired by the dada movement

Workin on a night moose

I wish everyone in Williamsburg would go back to Murray hill

Imagine peace

I wanted to renovate the bathroom in my rental apt so I turned a minor problem into a major one and voila

Maybe tomorrow will be different.

Once upon a coconut

My bf wants our kid’s middle name to be Hyphen

Does anyone know how to use a can opener

They should put Christmas in March