I like writing silly Tweets, but that doesn't pay so I build things at @googledeepmind. Principal Engineer. ex-@googlechrome. volunteer @2ndharvest. 🇺🇸🇨🇷
Berkeley hills
Joined March 2012
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my husband and son keep shooting me with nerf guns around the house. little do they know that on my last Target run, I armed myself with my own nerf blaster. I have been practicing at 530am. my crossbody purse can hold like 100 foam darts. now I wait for the perfect moment
Adriana Porter Felt retweeted
the worst part about being a beekeeper is kissing all 30,000 bees goodnight i bet
I like to think of the gym in terms of functional, practical strength. anyways gals I can now get 175lb off the ground and into a trunk several times in a row so hmu if you need help. stationary objects only though
I hired a friend of a friend to make an extremely beautiful piñata and now I'm supposed to give it to kids to smash with bats??? My heart can't take this
there are 5.6 billion assignable US phone numbers. at the rate I'm blocking them, the Democratic party is going to run out of new phone numbers by next week
we went inside to get drinks and when I glanced out the window our 85lb dog was fully on the picnic table with his head in the pastry box
I stupidly rewarded my cat for killing a spider near my bed and now I'm dealing with a suspicious number of half dead spiders brought to my attention while sleeping
I just remembered this. I had a bike lock in my hand and was prepared to use it and this guy instead sincerely apologized for cutting me off. reset my brain chemistry
the rug cleaner guy gave me so many snacks so enthusiastically when I picked up my rug that I do not think I got the good end of that deal
today my son reported his lunch included something "green, tasted horrible, and looked like the ends of hot dogs." can you guess what he means?
people always say they would miss four seasons if they move to California. but how about the scent of the first rain? after months of dryness, all of the volatile aromatics like sage and lavender give puffs of perfume as you walk by your neighbors' gardens
Adriana Porter Felt retweeted
Sydney Sweeney reveals in an interview that she doesn’t care about the PHP vulnerability because she moved everything to Rust in 2024.
“They said the rewrite would take six months. We’re on month 30. We haven’t shipped a feature since, but I’m having a very normal Wednesday.”
what are the criteria for congressional medals? I moved a ten ft couch by myself without scratching the floor and I feel it should qualify for some kind of public recognition
something very cool is that I typed these words and then less than 24h later the giant pothole in the street behind my driveway was patched????
occupational hazard: the wifi on the plane didn't work so instead, for nine hours, I got to stare at this piece of UI I built a decade ago
the real psychological torture was not the lack of wifi but rather the subsequent hours of Twitter commenters telling me I should have gone through this error to use an Internet connection from a provider who is serving a certificate with like 5 problems on their own captive portal page
best case, this endpoint is serving the factory default certificate from pre-2019 bc its firmware has never been updated. worst case, someone five rows behind me is broadcasting this SSID from their pineapple. in either case, I can't imagine our corporate security team would be delighted by me connecting a corp device to it and working on production code