Annie Ertle

Need a new grudge to hold, all of mine are getting stale

I actually died doing the milk crate challenge and am sending this from purgatory

Sometimes a tweet will include a clip I can’t listen to in the moment for various reasons—e.g. surrounded by adoring crowds—and I’ll favorite anyway, knowing I’ll like it and have the chance to listen to it eventually ❤️

Yeah, I’m a big car girl. Just love those sweet rides so much

Hey Siri! Can you go to a hibachi restaurant by yourself?

Successfully grafted a tiny sliver of soap onto a new bar #womeninSTEM #barsoapnation

Hear me out: a beer bong, but for M&Ms

I donated 2 wikipedia so president joe biden mailed this to me. And all the a-list celebrities signed the back.

I Am Going To Recreate “Super Size Me,” But With Wendy’s This Time

Damn…..could really go for an 8,000-word article that details how an extremely niche community is dealing with a (seemingly) low stakes controversy rn 😩

Happy independence day to all who celebrate

I wrote this headline. Please invite me to your cookout 😀

Bilingual in that I can switch flawlessly between the ABBA album version and “MAMMA MIA!” film soundtrack version of a song 🤪🤪🤪

My reputation @ work precedes me 😌😌😌😌😌😌 or I’m being taunted by a riddler-esque figure. But probably the 1st one 😌😌😌

If you wore the right pair of heelys on one of those moving walkways, I bet you could break the sound barrier

Everyone’s a free thinker until the automated voice directs them to the next open cashier at Marshall’s

This one goes out to all the girls who have gotten an accessory-induced migraine 🥰

Using a fake ID that says I’m 19