bobby retweeted
excited to share a new toy called bash. it’s a multiplayer coding agent with social built around it
starting with invites and a waitlist, and we’ll open it up as quickly as possible
bash.tv
bobby retweeted
(Repairing wrecked boat village boy approaches with picture from my pack) Bahu bah? {Monster}
Me: No bahu bah. Marmaduke…Buha bet {Friend}
Boy: Mar-ma-duke…Your?
Me: Not mine. Everybodys. {confused look} he is…like Wind. Everyones
Boy {grinning} Marmaduke is like Wind
bobby retweeted
Happy #OpeningDay & let’s go @Mets!!
bobby retweeted
(pressing my face really hard against a wall during an argument with my wife) I want some candy so bad right now
bobby retweeted
what if you were at the thrift store and you saw a pair of jeans you liked but you looked at the tag and it was the chipotle logo and it said “chipotle clothing co.” ?
bobby retweeted
Big Boi: To’ up. from the flo’ up, while I growed up, swimmin in go-re-gous Flo-ri-da women but this pimp reside in Georgia. Coroner. Report I hope insurance shored up. Might have your rates turned up before them boys turn the corna.
Andre 3000: She trapped in my cadmium palace
bobby retweeted
Grown up sized white baby I’m friends with: The way I be drinking this damn apple juice…ooh chile😂
Me: You can’t be talking like that White Baby.
bobby retweeted
this morning I got a drink from 7/11, and the cashier said “you could get two more if you wanted”, and so I got two more because I thought she meant there was a promo. but there wasn’t a promo, I just paid full price for three of the same drink. why did she do this?
bobby retweeted
Orangutan coworkers be like “What did you have for lunch? I had two oranges, one apple, one coconut, two mangos, three limes, ten lemons, one papaya, a guava, fifty five grapes, and ten kiwis”
bobby retweeted
one time i was really drunk at a mcdonalds and i ordered a 20 piece nugget with every single sauce because i wanted to try them all out and the lady behind the counter said “oh no…we do not do that here”
bobby retweeted
At the gas station just now a nickel fell out of my pocket and hit my shoe before landing perfectly on its side. Turned around to show the guy standing behind me in line and he was blown away and said "that's how you know none of this is real"
