Michelle “Liam’s Mom”

(Smugly) Actually your friend 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 himself

We’ve isolated the toilet for too long. Let it explore

Actually prefer this title

Kelly clarkson’s real mistake was being at the magic store when she should have been next door blowing the roof off karaoke night at Montero

(Documentary interview sequence) “Porky Peterson was just radical, man” “Porky Peterson permanently changed the way things were done.” “To guys like me and my friends, Porky was god. There would never be anyone like him.” (Music cuts out) “And then Pinky Hubcap came along”

don't mind if i do

I’m kind of the Michael Jordan of freelancing (gambling all day)

Cookie Monster decorating:

Is there an option to stay a caterpillar

I wouldn’t be excited about being in a witness protection program, but I do think I could get used to it. Oh, now I’m Laura who works at the gas station? Fine by me

My dad has a pretty good bit where he says “Oh NO! Not the scariest ever, Jason Bateman!” whenever he’s cast as a villain. Covering his eyes “this guy gives me nightmares”

This is how I need to be talking

Are fairies women

Joseph Gordon-Levitt; Maybe we don’t even have to look alike? Suspend disbelief, ya know? Rian Johnson: Joe. Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Yeah. I figured. But hey. Now everyone gets to see what I’d look like as young Bruce Willis, right? Rian Johnson (in way too deep): Yes. Yes we do

In the pre check line asking if I can take off my shoes anyway