RainbowBrittles614

Fuckin remember how this new presidency brought The New Radicals together? What’s next? Air Bud becomes Secretary of Defense?

when I wake up tomorrow about 15 minutes before my alarm

I’ve reached the point where I need to ask for the dairy-free rumchata

I had a dream last night that @LAYS and the @TheDecemberists did a collab and had themed chips. One of them being @colinmeloy buffalo and ranch chips. What other flavors would there be and please let this become a thing

I’m sorry what

Internally I’m Billy Joel performing in Moscow, 1987

In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks ElonOwesYou100Dollars.com

The crispiest air is the air in the Mexico pavilion at EPCOT and that’s scientific fact

me as a dog turns the corner

#bachelorette imagine being a stand-up comedian who paid to be in a comedy festival and the bachelors walk in I would ask For my money back and a headliner slot