@brjork

i was born in a tin of tuna and baptized in the oil

 she/hurts
Joined September 2020
  • Tweets5.9K
  • Following241
  • Followers1.2K
361Media
eye doctor: you should see a home going in and out of focus me: [choking up] ok
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come to the preschool agora with mama 🥺
Eric Alper 🎧
@ThatEricAlper10h
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they’re going to drag me into the town square and hang me for this, but something i have learned is that there are people out there addicted to being sick and alone. they wouldn’t know what to do with happiness if they saw it so they retreat and shape their identity around misery
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they can be beautiful people, gorgeous people, extremely talented people, but they are sitting on a lone iceberg of their own making even if they are surrounded by things that could make it better, and they like it. i personally cannot subscribe to a life like that
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the thing i finally learned from cookbooks and cooking social media accounts is that no one is eating beautifully all the time. sometimes you make a big bowl of bullshit and it is so delicious and satisfying and your little freaky gargoyle meal never sees the light of day
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i have never owned a pickup truck because i had something exponentially better - a 2007 honda crv
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as you wish retweeted
words with love@juscrapbook15h
love was a room that appeared when you stepped into it.
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coming home to a 1600 dollar bill
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the mechanic says he's going to knock a few hundred dollars off, and i just got a dogsitting job from my highest paying customer. now i just have to get back to squatting 185 and i will be back
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everyone kept trying to explain “minnesota nice” to me which is when a person avoids confrontation by masking condescension behind a veneer of niceness and i had to gently explain that we already have this in georgia and it is called being southern
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in the midwestern woods that make you not kill yourself
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if you are in the minneapolis aiport and you just stuffed a hershey's bar in between two seats after eating 1/8th of it, i am not angry, but i am curious
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as you wish retweeted
00.1bun@00_1bunOct 11
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please lord take any suffering reserved for pope leo and give it to dasha
Pope Leo XIV
@PontifexOct 11
Dear friends, during some recent medical examinations, the doctors found a small, localized nodule in my lung. It was detected at a very early stage and is well-localized. The doctors believe that it is best to intervene, so, following their advice, I have decided to undergo surgery to remove it. The operation is already scheduled to take place in the coming days. I thank you for your spiritual closeness and entrust myself to your prayers.
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minnesota is literally washington state without the mountains. a hill i am willing to die on
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i am at a party and they have asked me to be the bouncer because i hugged the host with my “muscly arms”
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i have lost a lot of my gains because i stressed so bad about the lsat i stopped eating but i guess the body keeps score
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10/10 post . zero room for improvement. change absolutely nothing
Bryan Johnson
@bryan_johnsonOct 9
I am measuring my girlfriend’s erections
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my friend has asked me to observe the man she had a crush on and we have been left by him multiple times in the city, while both of us are tipsy. women, you need to kill your situationships. with a gun
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you as a man should be herding two tipsy female friends as if they were baby chicks
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mark ruffalo is such a good man he appeared in one of my environmental classes and rfk jr is so evil he also did as well
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