R A T M A X X I N G 🐀🐀 ♘ ♗ ♖

official results are in. in a field of 80+ chess players players, i had the highest performance rating (and my first ever master-level performance). i am quite a way from getting my title, but when i do, i will only respond to MASTER SHERMAN

chess coach asked "what does that mean?" after he saw my notes to a game (i had written "ROASTED LIKE A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN hhahahahahha" after a nice move)

i just placed 2nd in the annex chess club's hallowe'en rapid tournament, scoring 4.5/5 and defeating two titled players. here's a position from one of my wins against a master. i played bf8+ here and won shortly after

photo from the simultaneous chess exhibition i took part in this weekend against fide master koosha jaferian, who is also my trainer. i believe the photo captures the moment i realize that i have severely fucked up the opening

white to play and win. can you solve this? it took me way longer than it should've, since it's from a chess puzzle book called "winning chess tactics for JUNIORS":

i enjoyed the shane gillis thing, relatively speaking. it was fine. do any of you even go to the gym?

the funniest thing about the whole u.s. invading canada thing is, well, america cannot afford even a peaceful occupation. america owes nearly $1 trillion to china. americans will be speaking chinese before canada ever faces any real consequences

i drew the top-rated player in round 1 of my chess club's new tournament (2100 cfc) , but i could've won here on move 36. with 10 seconds left i played c3, when bishop takes bishop wins

at the age of 75, in 2007, viktor korchnoi was still ranked in the top 100 chess players in the world

just received confirmation that i placed 2nd in a field of 46 at the latest chess club tournament. not bad

at the time, i used a flat iron on my hair

this guy fucks

after a terrible slump, i returned to form at annex chess club, scoring 4/5 and placing second in the highest section. final game as black once again featured a sound sacrifice by me, ng4

given one of bin laden's goals was to destabilize america, the current iteration of the republican party is proof that he won (so far)

filled out that indie lit survey thing

the next move i made in this position — where as white i was totally winning (+1.4) — totally illustrates why i had such a terrible tournament this past weekend. i played 17. qb7??? dropping an entire rook. by far the worst mistake i have ever made at the board...

well, i may suck at tournament chess, but at least i still know how to punish degenerates in speed chess who willingly play the english opening as white