@chefinret

Retired chef now serving common sense on culture, career, and purpose in a noisy world

 United States of America
Joined February 2026
  • Tweets3.4K
  • Following584
  • Followers464
What ever happened to strawberry milk? Folks used to guzzle that stuff down
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Listening to Succession Main Theme while walking to work but I’m wearing a polo
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Officially the fattest thing I’ve ever seen $NVO $LLY
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The chicks at Equinox are like the sirens in the Odyssey. And I’m that Asian dude taking my ear plugs out
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Lamine Yamal’s little bro looks like Kid President
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Winning a World Cup when you still have your braces on has to be electric
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Argentina’s coach mogs
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Watching the World Cup with an older Egyptian gentleman. Highly recommend
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Sophie Cunningham is a ring girl now? Woah
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One time Retired Chef caught a kid selling bruschetta on the side of the street. I immediately called the cops and had him trespassed. There are levels to this game. Life is not an amusement park. Welcome to the big leagues, kid.
MLFootball
@MLFootball
Jul 4
🚨🚨HEARTWARMING🚨🚨 #Patriots star AJ Brown pulled his car over after spotting a poor young fan selling candy on the street. Brown handed the child $500 so he could buy a PS5. An unforgettable act of kindness that this family will remember forever ❤️
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This Cape Verde goalie is like the unc hooper at LA Fitness that you never want to play against
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… today it’s a Mitsubishi Outlander. I’m completely stumped
Retired Chef
@chefinret
Jun 30
If my house cleaner drives a nice car - “She must be a thief” If she drives a lousy car - “She has a huge motivation to steal” What car should I want my house cleaner to drive?
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Tell me you’re poor without telling me you’re poor
𝐏𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞🪁
@FeelLikePayne
Jul 3
Something about this just gives me the creeps
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Never reveal something about yourself that will alter other peoples perceptions of who you are if you don’t think that it had any impact at all
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I really want to start reading classic literature, but I don’t want to become insufferable. Is it even worth trying?
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Chick-fil-A almost never has cute workers, but when they do, it’s absolute fireworks
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If my house cleaner drives a nice car - “She must be a thief” If she drives a lousy car - “She has a huge motivation to steal” What car should I want my house cleaner to drive?
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At what age is it no longer appropriate to pants your boys?
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Waking up to creatine and coffee tears my stomach up like nobody’s business
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