Chekesha Rashad

You want to know why you shouldn’t ever reach out or reply to people that have deeply hurt/betrayed/humiliated/devastated you? I’ll tell you why. Because I remember the times that I’d "give in" and reach out/respond then feel flooded with shame, anger and disgust at myself. After a couple of times, I realized something. By even communicating with him, despite what we actually talked about, I was unknowingly conveying a loud and clear message. "I am okay with everything that happened. I am okay with it and I still want to talk to you." Realizing the severity of that made me sick and helped me realize that any communication, no matter how small or innocent I thought it was, was actually saying “Don't worry, you're not a bad person! How bad can you be if I’m still talking to you? Despite the horrible shit that you put me through, despite the cruel ways that you mishandled me, I'll be here for you always. I'm spineless with low self-esteem. I'll forgive anything.” Yeah. Don’t talk to them.