Collin Alpert (@collinalpert) header
Collin Alpert (@collinalpert) profile picture

Collin Alpert

@collinalpert

.NET developer at Schleupen. Check out my GitHub for side projects which I will definitely still get around to.

 Hamburg
github.com/CollinAlpert
Joined August 2015
  • Tweets830
  • Following374
  • Followers91
58Media
Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)Photo by Collin Alpert (@collinalpert)
Collin Alpert retweeted
frankie (@frankieats) profile picture
frankie@frankieats6 Mar 2025
finally completed a very important task i’ve been avoiding for several months. it took 8 minutes and zero effort on my part and i felt immediate and immense relief. i probably won’t learn from this
365
39,071
2,007
337,420
5,728,306
Replying to @JayVersace
I think if a dog could throw something on the grill, they would.
184
3,596
336
133,492
2,073,679
Collin Alpert retweeted
Ron Iver (@ronnui_) profile picture
Ron Iver@ronnui_28 Dec 2024
My least controversial opinion is that Ikea should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a gjörfbunkle
102
6,720
238
126,033
2,437,338
Collin Alpert retweeted
trash (@trashh_dev) profile picture
trash
@trashh_dev1 Oct 2024
everytime someone says the word proxy i just assume they’re a god damn genius
58
28
6
735
54,335
Collin Alpert retweeted
E L H O T Z O (@elhotzo) profile picture
E L H O T Z O@elhotzo29 Sep 2024
Tagesablauf aller Nachbarn über denen ich jemals gewohnt habe
Image from E L H O T Z O (@elhotzo)
55
118
5
3,817
273,403
Collin Alpert retweeted
Edward Kmett (@kmett) profile picture
Edward Kmett
@kmett24 Sep 2024
A coworker and I were talking about the proper way to kill children in a food court once, in the wake of 9/11, and had mall security called on us. The ensuing awkward explanation of unix process terminology with a jittery mall-cop has lived rent-free in my head ever since.
neural nets. (@cneuralnetwork) profile pictureneural nets.
@cneuralnetwork23 Sep 2024
never studying OS again
Image from neural nets. (@cneuralnetwork)
41
808
34
10,231
455,240
Wife: what do you know about mail chimp? Me: I believe it’s a distant cousin to the survey monkey Wife: ….
13
37
4
543
20,166
Collin Alpert retweeted
gabsmashh (@gabsmashh) profile picture
gabsmashh
@gabsmashh29 Jul 2024
you're in his dms but i'm in his s3 bucket because he doesn't understand ACLs
32
197
12
2,386
109,279
Collin Alpert retweeted
Turk (@gitpush_gitpaid) profile picture
Turk
@gitpush_gitpaid29 Jun 2024
designers will look you dead in the face and tell you these are two different colors
Image from Turk (@gitpush_gitpaid)
75
24
8
499
43,123
Collin Alpert retweeted
Josh Sawyer (@jesawyer) profile picture
Josh Sawyer@jesawyer29 Jun 2024
I think it’s cool that we’re still using Bluetooth for a ton of things even though it’s super bad 👍
225
585
227
33,349
3,261,642
Ich hatte vorhin meinen Kaffee in der Nase. 🤣🤣🤣
Darth Lehrer @Darth_Lehrer "Putin startet Lauschangriff auf deutsche Küste!" Erste Ergebnisse: "Moin." "Moin." "Und?" "Muss." "Jo." 4:02 nachm. · 21. Juni 2024 · 366.770 Mal angezeigt https://x.com/Darth_Lehrer/status/1804152976665092245 _________________________________ 🎲Verdammnis🎲 @Dat_Verdammnis Wow erster versuch und er erwischt die beiden Quasselstrippen. 9:21 nachm. · 21. Juni 2024 · 7.443 Mal angezeigt https://x.com/Dat_Verdammnis/status/1804233079860420669

ALT Darth Lehrer @Darth_Lehrer "Putin startet Lauschangriff auf deutsche Küste!" Erste Ergebnisse: "Moin." "Moin." "Und?" "Muss." "Jo." 4:02 nachm. · 21. Juni 2024 · 366.770 Mal angezeigt https://x.com/Darth_Lehrer/status/1804152976665092245 _________________________________ 🎲Verdammnis🎲 @Dat_Verdammnis Wow erster versuch und er erwischt die beiden Quasselstrippen. 9:21 nachm. · 21. Juni 2024 · 7.443 Mal angezeigt https://x.com/Dat_Verdammnis/status/1804233079860420669

25
192
11
3,372
153,657
idk why people say funding open source is difficult
Image from Forrest Brazeal (@forrestbrazeal)
3
69
8
267
51,975
Image from 🕐HOURLY🕑 shitpost (@hourly_shitpost)
17
1,184
25
22,165
806,170
Collin Alpert retweeted
Ashley (@khyperia) profile picture
Ashley@khyperia27 May 2024
frustrated at having to use reflection to access unity internals? use this one weird trick!
Image from Ashley (@khyperia)
6
13
136
21,737
Collin Alpert retweeted
Rothmus 🏴 (@Rothmus) profile picture
Rothmus 🏴
@Rothmus24 May 2024
Image from Rothmus 🏴 (@Rothmus)
17
920
8
24,171
422,429
On arrival in Japan: "I don't really want a toilet to spray me in the butt." Upon returning from Japan: "What, am I just supposed to wipe my own ass like some kind of caveman?" One week after returning from Japan:
Japanese-style toilet installed in Canadian bathroom.

ALT Japanese-style toilet installed in Canadian bathroom.

676
5,635
1,439
77,031
6,130,268
My most millennial trait is big purchases must happen in big laptop screen
x (@soulohlove) profile picturex@soulohlove1 Apr 2024
booking flights on a phone is crazy. that is a laptop activity
360
34,812
2,663
252,463
11,421,210
Collin Alpert retweeted
George Mayer (@GeorgeMayer) profile picture
George Mayer
@GeorgeMayer22 Mar 2024
I don’t actually get the point of kubernetes.
219
53
48
1,140
820,486
Here is a 72-byte alphanum MD5 collision with 1-byte difference for fun: md5("TEXTCOLLBYfGiJUETHQ4hAcKSMd5zYpgqf1YRDhkmxHkhPWptrkoyz28wnI9V0aHeAuaKnak") = md5("TEXTCOLLBYfGiJUETHQ4hEcKSMd5zYpgqf1YRDhkmxHkhPWptrkoyz28wnI9V0aHeAuaKnak")
39
1,561
192
5,440
2,061,870
Collin Alpert retweeted
Sash Zats (@zats) profile picture
Sash Zats
@zats24 Feb 2024
What are your most useful automations?
Image from Sash Zats (@zats)
174
7,289
675
136,849
9,371,567
Load more