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coot

@cooterhog

gingivitis survivor • none of the opinions expressed here are my own

 she/her
Joined February 2010
  • Tweets33.4K
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  • Followers3.7K
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Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)Photo by coot (@cooterhog)
Smoking on that shit that Paul Revered
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Saw an eagle flying and instinctually yelled “America fuck yeah” at him
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They pre-program the 9 volt batteries to run out in the middle of the night
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$150 advent calendar where every day is a single jelly belly jelly bean
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OP has never met a childfree adult
Jessica (@hol22006) profile pictureJessica
@hol22006Nov 5
If youre going to be childfree you have to accept that children and the elderly dictate the schedule for family events. Be an adult. Your 3 year old nephew and 73 year old uncle with Alzheimers cant do dinner at a steakhouse at 730pm just because that's your preference. Grow up.
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I can tell how southern you are by counting how many syllables you use for the word “Kim”
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When the Shania starts you’ll hear “let’s go girls”
dumbass ☃️ 💟👻 (@ungratefuljed) profile picturedumbass ☃️ 💟👻@ungratefuljedNov 4
so does anyone know when the sharia starts is there like a bell to announce it or something
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One pan looks like this, so the other one can look like that
Image from coot (@cooterhog)
Image from coot (@cooterhog)
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I hope there’s been discourse about the fact that Billy very obviously started doing a loooooot of cocaine after Liz went away
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It’s so cute how every state has their own weird holiday that no one outside of the state has ever heard of
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Does Flavortown have cops
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Enough about ozempic vagina, show us your ozempic balls
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10/10
Image from coot (@cooterhog)
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The last thing I wanna hear out of anyone’s mouth is “in the kindest way possible”
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Randomly thought to myself that @fionaasshole would be a great @, and would you believe that I was not the first to come up with it
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Ok so all this time I thought David Guetta was the same person as David Archuletta
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Versatile bottoms designed to fit seamlessly
Image from coot (@cooterhog)
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Donald J Trump sent me $500 ???
Image from coot (@cooterhog)
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Dying at this lady on love after lockup and her SUPER BITCH hat
Image from coot (@cooterhog)
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I dreamed that I met Sabrina Carpenter and I made a very direct reference to one of her songs and she pretended not to understand which doesn’t seem like something she would do!
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