Cory Phare (@coryphare) header
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Artifice shell untelligence. Yooper. Dudeist 🎳 Words = mine (esp. good ones, like 'tintinnabulation').

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Joined July 2009
Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)Photo by Cory Phare (@coryphare)
doki doki panic! at the disco
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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house everything is fucked everybody sucks
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I had a good Jonestown joke but the punchline was too long
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Cory Phare retweeted
The guy who compared a Trump rally to Jonestown on live Fox News was invited by the Trump campaign. They called his work phone on Monday and asked him to come. His name is Tom Hoyle. He's 57 and runs a small custom printing shop in Charlotte called MadPark Designs with his business partner. He's hated Trump since 1989, back when he was a sophomore in college. And he really, really doesn't like getting sales calls on the shop line, from anybody. So when the rally people called, he said yes. He even signed up with his real name and contact info, because he wanted it on the record that they invited him. Then he had to get through the door. A private security guy asked him straight up if he was a Trump supporter. Tom told him he supports the Constitution, then started talking about his shirt, which was for an old death metal band called Death. He kept going about the history of Florida death metal until the guard gave up and let him in. His plan going in was honestly pretty juvenile. He and a buddy he grew up with figured he'd wait a few minutes into the speech and yell something filthy. Then a Fox News reporter, Lucas Tomlinson, found him standing off by himself and asked if he could interview him live. Tom thinks a white guy with a big beard and a ball cap was pretty much exactly what they were looking for. He told himself he wasn't going to cuss on national TV, so he made it up on the spot. He says the first line and then just waits. The reporter goes "Wait, the Jonestown Massacre?" and that's when he finishes it. He told The Handbasket he picked that up from Billy Crystal, who said on Letterman back in the '80s that you always let the other guy set up your punchline. Tomlinson set it up for him perfectly. A few minutes later some men who said they were Secret Service pulled him aside. He asked if this was about the concession stand, because it closed early and he was starving. They didn't love that and walked him out. On his way out he passed the guard from the front door and told him, hey man, you didn't vet me too well. Think about how many people had a shot at stopping this. The campaign's call list found him. The signup form had his name. A guard questioned him to his face. A Fox crew put him on live TV. Every one of them took one look at the beard and the hat and filled in the rest. That's how almost all of this screening works. Asking somebody what they actually believe takes time, and looking at them takes a second, so everybody just looks. The one check that actually caught him came after he'd already said it on national TV.
Fox: Why are you here this morning? Trump rally attendee: Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre. But this is as close as I'll ever get, so that's why I'm here. There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.
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Someone interviewed this guy after this and this made me like him more.
Fox: Why are you here this morning? Trump rally attendee: Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre. But this is as close as I'll ever get, so that's why I'm here. There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.
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Cory Phare retweeted
Number One, always. Thank you, Sir Patrick Stewart.
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The adjective for metal is metallic, but not for iron, which is ironic. Thank you.
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“I just need to make it to Friday”
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Cory Phare retweeted
low key fell off
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
low key a stolen post The original tweet is listed below. twitter.com/kyrphilantx065…
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Cory Phare retweeted
i’m crying we finally getting these allegations
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tragic love story between Detroit and Chicago suburbanites called "Romeo and Joliet"
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But soft! What light way-down yonder breaks? It is the Chattahoochee, and hotter than a hoochie-coochie is the sun.
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there's this dude i follow on Instagram who goes to literally every single show in his city regardless of genre and I just call him John Concert in my head now
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31 years today for this masterpiece.
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Cory Phare retweeted
Somewhere between Gen X and Millennial is a micro generation that is defined by this song.
Released in 1996 as the second single from Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, “1979” became the Smashing Pumpkins' biggest American hit, reaching No. 12 on the Billboard Hot 100 and No. 1 on both the Modern Rock Tracks and Mainstream Rock Tracks charts. The album was eventually certified 10× Platinum in the United States. “1979” was almost left off the album: producer Flood gave Corgan a final deadline to complete the unfinished song or remove it from the record. Corgan went home, finished the lyrics that night, and returned the next day with a new demo that convinced Flood to keep it. Billy Corgan wrote the track as a nostalgic reflection on adolescence and the transition into adulthood. Although the title refers specifically to the year Corgan was 12, the song is less a literal autobiography than an idealised reflection on what it felt like to be young.
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Cory Phare retweeted
‘How are you so focused under pressure?’ Me in 1995:
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Cory Phare retweeted
Really hoping this is opt-in and not default
BREAKING: Scientists develop technology that allows people to digitally transmit smells across the world, potentially bringing scent to phone calls, video chats, & social media.
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btw the science folder is green. always has been. always will be.
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Cory Phare retweeted
those are not my best hours
how attractive are you from 1-10
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Cory Phare retweeted
how the fuck is it only wednesday i feel like i have been put through a paper shredder
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