cpt. culo sucio 🤸‍♂️

Told them nice David Santiago piece and it turns out it was their own

If you kinda suck at playing acoustic guitar and keep dropping your pick inside of the sound hole, hire me and I can get it out of there in under 7 seconds every single time RT RT RT

Home Depot on uber eats is chaos

Albuquerque’s Harvey Dent is the only publicly funded dem fyi

I know it’s finally fall time but don’t tell me what to fucking do

It’s wild the US only paid 10 mil for New Mexico and Zona ba bona

It’s coldies!!!!!!!!

I only buy guitar strings on leap years sorry

My only super power is that I know exactly how a parking garage works

No you may not call me rose

A fucking dust storm every weekend is so tight

I don’t really eat burrito express, but every time I’ve done a service call at any of their locations they have the absolute cleanest kitchens I’ve ever seen in any restaurant god bless

I DON’T CARE IF YOU EAT YOUR BOOGERS!!!!

I can’t believe the pope died again!!

Pro tip! Dab a little peanut butter on that boiled egg you got in your hand

Too bad old spice doesn’t make deodorant without cancer. I miss smelling like a reef