Just a girl

I’m no tall, blonde, and classy broad. Nah, I’m just your average short, obstinate, gutter-mouthed brunette.

If you cut your steak with scissors in my presence, I’m summoning a firing squad.

*me in hell Um, excuse me, I was told there would be a special place for me here.

Chuck Norris didn’t die, he left to take death’s job. Super sad.

I wish I got paid for being a petty bitch, I’d be so rich.

Just saw an article claiming Gen X is the “feral generation never to be spoken of poorly without consequence” and I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more understood.

Me

The burden of being the only person on earth with the knowledge of 4-way stop etiquette is overwhelming.

Thought this was a neck!

I want coffee so hot it burns my whore mouth

Just finished my 23rd audiobook and now on the hunt for #24