Elizabeth Oporto

ends three point five years of silence on twitter, slams RT, this video is why the internet was invented. via @jdickerson

At this point, Obama & Trump are like yogurt & expired milk. Disliking yogurt is a matter of opinion, avoiding the latter is a safety matter

Want to support an awesome non-profit I'm involved with? Y/Y nitter.cf/junketnyc/status/80470…

Today I decided that the new #ThanksObama should be #DamnItDonald

I've never felt this undervalued as a woman.

Much like Titanic, there was room for a Jack #apple

p.s. Trump being the nominee means no Republican can ever utter the phrase sanctity of marriage EVER again.

I'm not sure "I hope you dance" is the right soundtrack for a Staples in Midtown.

today i saw a lady w/ dagger red nails holding a brown banana peel & a guy scrolling thru topless selfies, still can't decide which is worse

In a surprise to no one, guy with green doc marten boots just checked out girl in socks and Birkenstocks

I used a hammer and now I feel invincible! Is this how men feel all the time?

MY IPHONE AUTOCORRECTS IN ALL CAPS. THE FUTURE IS HERE. FINALLY.

Just had a green skittle for the first time since they changed it to apple and I thought I was having a stroke

#1 reason I'm bad person is texting ugly baby photos from FB to my friends.

Björk sounds like how PMS feels.

30 years, 11 months old is too fucking old for general admission.

Special thanks to @annehelen for the opportunity to cheer at sexy photos of Paul Newman and making unknown dreams come true