anyone who left before me is a pearl clutcher
anyone who left after me is a light-hearted and affectionate moment between Musk and his son
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tomatoes [selectively bred for size, becoming feeble and watery]: ᶜaₙnᵒt.. ᵐᵃⁱⁿᵗᵃⁱⁿ.ᶠˡᵃᵛᵒᵘr..
every single lemon: L̶̘͛Ĕ̴̛͙̘͚̹̊̊̍̾̿̄̐͂̈̐̀̄͆̓͑̌̑̈̚͠͝͠M̶̛̘̖̂̍͗͛̀͋͠͠Ơ̶̹̫̝̋̄̈̑͆͐͗̍̎͆̆́̈̓̌̃͘͝N̸̻̾͂͑́̏̒́́̑̈͐̄̌̌͒̈͑̕̚̚͘
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put a finger down if 'financial literacy' conjures 'using a large desktop skewer to impale receipts'
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most men are like pistachios: there is a small but perceptible opening, but someone else has to do literally all of the work
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First Bebe Rhexa came for Blue (Da Ba Dee), and I did not speak out—because I was not europop
Then Kim Petras came for Better Off Alone, and I did not speak out—because I was not eurodance
Then they came for Bran Van 3000—and there was no one left to speak for me
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unsuccessfully blaming 18 months of lacklustre performance at work on my 22-year old IG hormone coach Brittany
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i am the type of man who provides for his wife, and by ‘provide’ i mean move in with her and eventually smash literally every single dish she brought into our partnership
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FAANG engineers making $450,000/year plus options to enthusiastically seeker-missile literally every middle class job: so guys, it turns out AI is not so great
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what this site needs more of is complete strangers meeting for the first time and instantly calling for each other to be imprisoned forever
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recycling officer from @CityofVancouver jamming his gun into the back of my neck: You’ve put dryer lint in the compost for the last time you deranged fucking pervert
my wife [sobbing barricaded in the bathroom]: HE KNEW OKAY HE KNEW BUT HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OKAY
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Every year TEN FUCKING PERCENT of American high school football players sustain concussions
but yes DRAG SHOWS are unsafe and indoctrinating
Missouri AG demands schools ban drag shows with new resolution: 'Education not indoctrination' fxn.ws/3YiDWSU
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I tried to cook gnocchi in a cast iron pan, and was absolutely flabbergasted at what I found out along the way🧵
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