Matthias Schmidt

Just discovered my 19 year old daughter has an OnlyFans account I was devastated She clearly must not be registered as a sole proprietor with the the German Trade Office I sat her down and asked how much she'd made She said €4,200 I nearly collapsed That's at least €1,890 in unreported VAT obligations She started crying but I did the only thing a good father could do We spent the entire weekend filling out forms together She's now fully compliant with a business registration and tax ID Makes €340/month after taxes and social contributions I've never been more proud of her Only 19 and already an online entrepreneur She has a bright future ahead of her

My daughter came to me crying last night For weeks, the same suspicious man has been waiting outside her apartment, following her home Yesterday she said she was installing a doorbell camera “Absolutely not” I screamed at her She looked at me like I was insane “Dad, I’m scared, something can happen to me” I told her that fear does not give her the right to record every person who walks past her door Privacy is a basic European right If protecting that means accepting a little discomfort, that is a small price to pay She started crying again Of course I care about my daughter’s safety, but protecting yourself cannot mean surveilling everyone else

My son asked for a PS5 because GTA VI is coming out soon “Absolutely not. That game rewards car theft, gun violence and reckless driving” He started crying and went to his room To my shock, a few days later my wife’s boyfriend Pierre surprised him with a brand new PS5 and preordered GTA VI My son hugged him and said it was the best gift he had ever received I pulled my wife aside and explained that her lover was exposing our child to American criminal culture She didn't say a word, so the next morning I did the only thing a loving father could do While my son was still asleep, I returned the PS5 to the store Thanks to the EU consumer protection law, I received a full cash refund and used this money to buy him something far more appropriate A refurbished Siemens laptop with parental controls, and no access to violent video games When he woke up and realized the PS5 was gone, he started crying One day he’ll understand that protecting children means rejecting American violent brainrot

Urlich, a close friend of mine has been building his AI startup for three years I’ve always been a mentor to him and he trusts me completely His company was not doing well, they had six weeks of cash left and payroll was due Suddenly, a tier 1 American VC offered to invest €8 million “Finally, we’re saved” he called me yesterday crying from happiness I told him not to sign it “Why?” he asked “Because the moment you depend on American capital, you stop building a European company” He said that without the money the company would need to shut down I told him some things are more important than survival Yesterday he rejected the term sheet and the company filed for bankruptcy this morning One less European company for Americans to control

What’s “genuinely insane” for Americans is actually well functioning labor law

Invited my new analyst to a client dinner tonight It’s important to give junior employees meaningful senior decision-maker exposure early in their careers

Today I found out our 19 year old daughter is a sugar baby Apparently a married 61 year old man has been sending her €2,000 a month for “companionship” I was completely devastated That’s €24,000 a year in recurring gifts from the same person, clearly a taxable event I sat her down the same evening and went through every bank transfer “Dad, this is so embarrassing” she was crying I told her what would be embarrassing is getting audited and charged for tax evasion By midnight she was fully compliant with everything properly documented I’m proud my little girl is finally building a dependable income stream

My costume for Halloween finally arrived

European hierarchy of priorities

BREAKING: Anthropic pulls out from its Nasdaq IPO, goes public on Euronext Amsterdam instead

Excited to announce my new documentary with @netflix Across Europe, men are finding the confidence to step back and support their wives’ relationships with other men Proud to share my story. Coming soon on Netflix

My daughter got her first tattoo today Love the message - stay focused, push through, and never give up on your goals!

Being the best footballer in the world and having such an unattractive woman is genuinely embarrassing When I achieve that level of success, I am divorcing my wife immediately

My friend works at a large German insurance company that decided to stop using ChatGPT "Using American AI is incompatible with European digital sovereignty" he said They replaced it with Mistral AI The migration took nine months and cost €13.8 million The new AI now only speaks French and automatically shortens every response after 200 words to reduce energy consumption "I only wish we made this switch sooner" he says This is what true technological independence looks like

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My friend Sofia is 39 and one of the most successful women I know She has a master’s degree, a great job and considers herself a feminist But even though she has been on 250 Tinder dates in the last two years, she cannot find a boyfriend “All men are emotionally unavailable, insecure and threatened by my success” she says She lives alone with her mentally challenged rescue dog in a 31m² apartment in Amsterdam She turns 40 next month “I have never been happier” she told me This is what a strong independent woman looks like

Teaching my daughter’s best friend how to drive today She grew up without a father, and it’s important for a young woman to have a reliable male figure around By the time she turns 18, she should be able to pass her driving test easily

My son is terminally ill and dying For the last eight months, we have been in and out of hospitals across Germany Last week, the doctors finally told us there was nothing more they could do My wife refused to accept it She sent his scans to hospitals everywhere and emailed specialists day and night On Tuesday night, she woke me up crying “Someone replied!” she screamed A surgeon had reviewed his case and believed he could operate “Where is the hospital?” I asked “In New York. They already offered us a slot for next week” “Absolutely not” I said “What?” my wife looked at me with tears in her eyes I explained that American hospitals operate outside EU medical standards If German doctors say nothing more can be done, I’m not going to gamble on an unapproved procedure abroad I wish more than anything there were another option But giving a dying child false hope is one of the cruelest things a parent can do

My 15 year old daughter was missing since Friday night She left for a party and didn’t answer her phone all weekend Today, on a Sunday morning, an old man dropped her off outside our house in a huge black SUV When I saw her, I completely lost it “What the fuck is going?” I screamed My daughter started crying “Dad, sorry, I can explain-” “Do you have any idea what the carbon emissions are on that car?” She looked at me like I was insane I told her I was deeply disappointed in her choices and thought we raised her better than this I hope one day she understands that climate responsibility is not optional

My daughter introduced me to her new boyfriend Karim yesterday He recently immigrated to Germany from Algeria and is an engineer His specialty? Rapid disassembly of electric scooters, e-bikes and small electric vehicles He can remove the battery, motor, wheels and electronics in minutes, quietly and without leaving much trace I asked where he studied engineering “Mostly on the street” he said Exactly the kind of practical experience universities can’t teach Europe needs more skilled immigrants like him