Gadj

My team’s chapter has been officially closed after 28 months. From advanced playoffs to actually qualifying for ECL without VRS it’s been a great learning experience. One thing I’ll always be able to say is that I gave this team nothing less than all of my time, heart, and soul. We’ve had insane highs for a team straight out of Advanced since qualifying. Through the many changes in the team lineup wise and lack of recent practice, we were still able to find a consistent top level of finishes and results. Towards the end a lack of passion as a whole was evident in the team. At the end of the day I can take extreme ownership of my short comings in leadership style and as a player. I truly believe the biggest failures of this roster came from the lack of ownership, discipline, and integrity. I take ownership for not embedding these ideals sooner within the team as a leader, regardless of where/when it was missing. Most teams shuffle players due to one if not all three of these reasons. If anything I lacked the integrity to uphold a positive mindset when things got tough and out of my control. This contributed to the collective atmosphere problem in the team. I was sometimes held accountable for this, sympathized with depending on the scenario, or convinced by some that they feel indifferent to it as a whole. This contributed to mediocrity in fixing the problem as a team and individually. We lacked integrity / standards. While the atmosphere was a collective problem, I will say that it’s something I didn’t hold a standard for within the team for anyone. It’s definitely a core value any leader should uphold and I failed to do that. I’ve played in some of the most toxic team environments in the past and the cloudiest days on this team couldn’t compare to those experiences so I always thought “meh could be worse” which is a mediocre mindset as a leader. While toxicity itself was absent within the team, I wish that I tried to bring more energy and enthusiasm every single day. I tried to do this rarely but didn’t prioritize it as much as the prep work for tactics / structure. In team CS we are not entitled to anything but more hard work. The only easy day was yesterday. I needed to attack each day with energy and enthusiasm as though it were critical to the team’s success. “The 4th/5th player problem”: We did at times rush who we picked up, we debatably even did some questionable pickups, however these players we rotated faced the same challenges sooner or later. Atmosphere being one of the main challenges and while there were other major ones that coincided with it, I’m only going to speak on the one that I had control over. It was extremely hard putting in the time as one person to make up for time not being put in as a collective. Through prep, studying, analysis projects, and creating new systems constantly it never seemed like enough. Most of the time it was extremely challenging but gave me a lot to carry forward in any team for the future in terms of knowledge and work ethic. In this team I prioritized 99% of my available time on the collective work that needed to be done for the team over my personal development as a player and leader in game. This led to neglecting my personal responsibilities individually. After playing with Grape / Pol0 that’s when I realized this was happening, they put a much heavier / consistent emphasis on my lack of leadership and at times questionable decision making and I’m always grateful for that. Since working with our coach Gabe (shortly afterwards), I’ve learned leadership starts from within, if you can’t lead yourself then you can’t lead others. It all starts with discipline and integrity. If this isn’t your first step as a leader then you’re gonna break a lot of eggs like I have 😅 I’m a transparent guy I’m not here to create a facade of who I am as a player / person and never have been. My passion for the game and work ethic is consistent through highs and lows.

LFT / exploring my options outside of Villainous. I am an experienced IGL and would prefer to do that, but am comfortable filling any other role for a good team. My schedule is fully open and can LAN if needed. ❤️ + ♻️ are appreciated!

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