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bitly.xaijo.com/hInkCnS I’ve said it before. Wednesday. Where you’re too far out to see weekend in any direction.

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I’ve said it before. Wednesday. Where you’re too far out to see weekend in any direction. bitly.xaijo.com/jNSKHRhj

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I'm not Anti-Social. I'm Pro-Doing Shit on my Phone. bitly.xaijo.com/hInkCnS

Nicki Minaj is probably my favorite Dr. Seuss character. bitly.xaijo.com/RejbC

bitly.xaijo.com/hInkCnS When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny.

Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm. bitly.xaijo.com/IFnfBItT

I cut butter with a regular knife and now it won't stop crying like a little bitch. bitly.xaijo.com/JgbcK

Guys, if you want to make a girl moan, tremble, and scream: be a spider. bitly.xaijo.com/oallrF

bitly.xaijo.com/hANrOaH I hope my memory foam mattress doesn't remember the man in my bed last night and tell my boyfriend.

bitly.xaijo.com/hANrOaH I hope my memory foam mattress doesn't remember the man in my bed last night and tell my boyfriend.

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I'm not Anti-Social. I'm Pro-Doing Shit on my Phone. bitly.xaijo.com/GaBkOmFl

I think all crime scenes should be photographed on Instagram. bitly.xaijo.com/oallrF

bitly.xaijo.com/oallrF I’ve said it before. Wednesday. Where you’re too far out to see weekend in any direction.

bitly.xaijo.com/MjrPNn Thumb war is never the thumb answer.

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