Serena Hickes

Your abuser is going to lie about you. A lot. They are going to pretend that none of it ever happened. They are going to reposition themselves as a victim of you. They are going to claim you are crazy, vengeful and psychotic. Then they are going to use ‘mental health’ to also reframe themselves as vulnerable and in need of support and love because of what you have supposedly done to them. They are going to turn loved ones against you. They are going to try to manipulate your kids. They are going to spend years convincing people that you are obsessed with them. That you still love them. That you’re jealous of their new partners. That you can’t stand that they moved on. They are going to claim that you are a compulsive liar. That you are an attention seeker. That you have a victim complex. That you are emotionally unstable. That you have issues. It’s a script. It’s a fucking blueprint. It’s the same thing over and over and over again, and you know what? It works. The abuser is usually successful in the complete reframing of you, and you begin to question your own truth. You begin asking yourself if you are a liar. If you are exaggerating. Whether any of it ever happened. Whether you are mentally ill. Whether you are a good enough parent to your kids. Whether you should go to your doctor. Whether it would just be better to end it all. I know thousands of women will read this post and comment underneath ‘this is exactly what happened to me’. This is what we are all up against when we disclose abuse or violence. So I just want to remind you today that NO ONE can take away your truth, and the truth remains the truth no matter how much it is contorted and moulded by the abuser. They know what they did. And so do you.