paddle

things like this will happen

at the club thinking about how cold my toes are

Success! Paddle just achieved a simultaneous orgasm with a stranger using the CumBuddies app. DownIoad the app @CumBuddiesApp

have u guys heard of this app called cumbuddies? apparently u just answer a few questions and it pairs u with a likeminded individual to “cum” with. seems so odd lol but also simple and streamlined

Success! Paddle just achieved a simultaneous orgasm with a stranger using the CumBuddies app. Download the app @CumBuddiesApp

was awarded “Least Likely to Succeed”and “Most Likely to Get Emulsified” in high school and guess what? im still here bitch. and i start my new job at the big mayonnaise factory on Monday

completely stumped on this grocery list.

effort should be put forth to struggle first, until u get better.

fucking ouch

the world is so oysters. or whatever they say

i simply love the way calories taste

if i were your friend i would say things to you like, “no, i get that” or “yooooo” or “when?”

i work at Fitbit. im one of the counters :)

maybe this is cringe but i do kinda think its about getting better at everything and having sex

holy fuck i figured it out again. please please dont let me forget this time. please someone help me i cant forget

i want a rug for my bedroom that i have to mow

i go on these walks alone hoping someone will either love me or kill me

trying to see what the back of my head looks like