Jake VP

I’m watching “I Know What You Did Last Summer” for the first time, and HOLY SH!T these kids deserved every bit of what I assume is coming.

Me:“What podcasts do you listen to?” Stranger in line at Target:“How did you know I listen to podcasts?” Me: “….you’re literally wearing Bombas Socks…”

It’s VERY clear the @NBAs rules on free throw rebounding have changed. But I am too lazy to look it up, and would much rather continue to be mad about it for no reason at all.

Amazon and Meta spent over $20 mill EACH on lobbying in 2021, and the number of Amazon lobbyists in DC outnumbers sitting US senators. (Source and inspiration from @profgalloway )

My favorite SB commercial was the one where they took multiple actors from my favorite shows and put them in funny situations and made nods to their fictional characters or celebrity status and scored it with cover of a song from when I was in high school.

HAWT TAKE: that halftime show was really good. #halftime #show #half #time #show #h #a #l…. Ok you get it.

All I can think about before this halftime show is @peteholmes’s (the E*trade Baby we all just laughed at) joke about Snoop Dogg recording “The Next Episode”

If you had told me that Chris Pratt and Blake Shelton’s lovechild was playing for the LA Rams right now, I’d believe you.

The Rock’s arms alone are a national treasure.

More like “The Tindler Swindler”

I just actually googled “which aisle would cheese whiz be in” #proudmoment

Of the Seinfeld cast, who had the best hair?

I’m just gonna keep pretending I know what ketamine is.

The post office and the DMV should consider a deal with book publishers to sell self-help books in post office and DMV lobbies.

Squid Game wasn’t good.

Every consider that America has been over caffeinated since the Boston TEA party? Who can blame us though, I guess. I bet tea was nasty trash in 1773.

I just wish I could do for ANYone what @phoebe_bridgers did for the @DanelectroUSA baritone guitar.

Do you think we will all talk about art in the afterlife?

I rarely think ahead when it comes to holiday decorations. Holiday movies I wanna watch? Planned months in advance.