Ronnie fookin’ Pickering!

Hi there world of Twits

Do you know who I am? #ballocks

Porkies and hogwash fwa fwa

Thank you to all my piccaninnies fwar wahr! #ToryLeadershipElection @frankieboyle

Boris is my compost! I am fed from the faeces beneath me. #ToryLeadership @billyraycyrus @marcusbrig @rickygervais

I suppose with houses and assets, then I guess I would be a millionaire. But so are a lot of people. #ToryLeadershipContest #buffoonery

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive. #ToryLeadershipContest #BorisJohnsonShouldNotBePM

Fwa fwa fwa fwaaar! #ToryLeadershipContest