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I wanna pretend I'm a former blue check haver but I never was famous enough

Philadelphia, PA
Joined May 2008
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I've been laughing way too much at this clip by @PhilosophyTube. I’m also very sad I didn't get to this video for like three weeks. But also, I can just watch the video and I'm instantly cheered up.
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I see Carrie took inspiration from Community.
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Why am I still laughing at this???
I've been laughing way too much at this clip by @PhilosophyTube. I’m also very sad I didn't get to this video for like three weeks. But also, I can just watch the video and I'm instantly cheered up.
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Elizabeth Holmes is Romy of Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion. 😂😂😂
Wait, do you think the voice I invented to play Romy & the shenanigans she & Michele engage in actually influenced Elizabeth Holmes?? If so, I am truly sorry- this would be the first time (I think!) one of my performances led someone to jail… the undying power of #RomyandMichele
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Sorry guys I’m at work so I can’t say much right now so , #MyTwitterAnniversary
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Replying to @CitizenAppPHL
@CitizenAppPHL's got video showing, "heavy SWAT presence at King of Prussia Service Plaza," and I wanna know what's going on! Where's the news on this?!?!
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Ok, so .... two things. One, “Garbage Truck” is the best SBO song, and Two, “Through the Trees” by Low Shoulder is NOWHERE on this list. rollingstone.com/music/music…
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Replying to @elonmusk
@elonmusk But why? Now I can't read what you have to say!
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They really need to work on lip sync. I mean, even despite the dead stare—the mouth opening too wide to pronounce, like, the word "you" really bothers me.
Hi I am Lia! I am an artificial intelligence! Follow me!
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Dear @EpicGames , I'm having trouble claiming today's free game. Please help.
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Was he interrupted in the middle of his shotokan training?
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I kinda feel bad for the first one. Like, it's just so untouched.
it’s that time of the year
Angel Studios. Clever name. Wonder if there are any success stories for these guys.
What would the Doctor know about the King's fingers?! Oh no, I hope this isn't a plot for the 2023 specials
Is it liquor after beer, you're in the clear? Or liquor then beer? Asking for a friend
Ok so this might be a sour spot but, if Disney acquired Fox does this mean we can have a MvC with the X-Men again??? Or has the last release killed that franchise?
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If Hilary Swank ain't in season six, then I at least want Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. #CobraKai #sixseasonsandamovie
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Sometimes I wish it was socially acceptable to just eat sauteed garlic and onions