jen curran

Wanna hear a crazy story? I’m a new mom & I had protein in my urine during and after pregnancy, which is bad. A doctor told me to “lose weight” & it would go away. Didn’t want me to see me back for months. So I got a second opinion. Turns out I have bone marrow cancer. THREAD: 1/

Hi @chrissyteigen big swing here but can I borrow $95k for surrogacy? I can’t carry because I got cancer right after my 1st was born but we really wanna have one more. There aren’t fertility loans and it’s too steep on our own. Mom to Mom - help me out and I’ll pay you back?💕💕

I think I’m gonna start my war on Christmas early this year. Retweet to enlist

If you’re in a group of people watching the sunset and nobody yells “There it goes!” as the sun dips below the horizon then you’re probably with vampires who are already plotting so get the heck outta there

There should 2 ways to become a doctor in America: 1. The usual way, or 2. You are a regular and storied patient with complex stuff going on (professional patients, I call us) being treated by the health care industry for a minimum of 4 years. Come at me.

All the other zodiac signs are so complex and multi-layered, interesting, weird, dynamic, and then there’s Scorpio where everyone’s just like “what a murderer.”

Nurse: Get this. Our patient broke his foot, brought his walker too far into the MRI room and it got sucked into the machine! Me: Omg! Nurse: It gets worse. He’s a cop and had his loaded gun in the little caddy of that walker. Me: WHAT?! Nurse: They had to call the fire dept

Me: Did you make a mistake? 4yo: It wasn’t a mistake, it was on purpose for no reason

My Multiple Myeloma is “well-controlled” but I’m not in remission. Going on 4 years of chemo. And I’ll always have to have treatment. I have an appointment this Thursday! I actually don’t mind. Love the nurses, love my doctor. Now if only they had a childcare option 🤔

Remember how 4 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer after my first opinion said I just needed to “lose the baby weight.” Not much has changed since then. Recently I asked the bone surgeon about recovery time. He said, “Well I know you have a little extra meat on those thighs.”

They call giving birth “labor” and the only other thing they call labor is actual labor

I hope the neighbor who paused to listen to me explain death to my 4yo for the 15th time this morning thought I did a good job

I’m back. Lost my blue check mark and not even sure what I’m doing here but I’m back. Thank you in advance for the 12 likes this will get. I’m lit on pain meds after a bilateral thigh replacement. Just got out of acute rehab 2 days ago. What better time to do my little remarks 💞

I went to “Mom’s Day” at my 4yo’s school. Learned a lot. I’m not really sure where to start but I’ve never consumed lemonade in her lifetime, the only person who even uses my computer is her and strawberries is a real reach. Also please note the rad purse she gave me ❤️‍🔥

Happy New Year to those who celebrate

Who said it, my 3yo or my cancer diagnosis?: “You have to run after me. Wait actually I’m your teenager. And you are my dad but you become a lava monster and THEN you run after me. And you have to say ‘We only make wands we don’t use them!’ but I don’t hear you. Then you die.”