Jephthah

The irony of how Hypergamy always plays out in the dating pool is so interesting to see. When you were in secondary school, your SS2 female classmates dated SS3 boys or those who had just graduated because Hypergamy is basically dating up, and that is, in fact, how women (read: most) date. In the university, your 100L female coursemates refused to date you because, according to them, you were a small boy, even though you were older than them. They didn’t see you as someone on the same dating page as them. If you ever lived in a school hostel or even off campus, you must have noticed how cars came to pick up your female coursemates during weekends and return them on Sunday evenings. Those guys were working-class men who sort of had their lives in order already. There’s even a popular saying among women that “A 20-year-old girl and a 20-year-old guy are not age mates. The girl is older than him.” And let’s not act as though we don’t know exactly what that means. Ladies in their final year mostly date working-class men. Do you know that even in the corporate world, your female colleagues at work who earn the same salary as you don’t see you as their mates in the dating sense? They won’t date you. If they even want to date within the company, it is still someone in a higher position. Of course, there are nuances. There are babes who date their age mates, coursemates, work colleagues, and so on. But, like I will always say, nuances and exceptions don’t negate the rule. Now, here’s where Hypergamy gets interesting: the same women who dated up all their lives get to a certain age or phase in their lives and suddenly decide that they can dictate how men their age should date. As a man, your 30s and 40s are considered your prime years, simply because, at 30+, you are wiser, emotionally more mature, financially in a better place, have a good job or business, and are even fitter if you go to the gym. In your prime years, you are desired by all categories of women: younger women, your age mates, and older women. All of a sudden, women your age who used to call you a small boy now consider you old enough to date. Of course, younger women in their early and mid-20s want you because — Hypergamy. Without sugarcoating it, women date up because of security. From financial to emotional to physical security. Older women want you because you are hotter and have your life together. Albeit, most older women still date up. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about age, but you get the drill. At the end of the day, you are more likely to desire the younger women because you can cater to their needs and they listen more. The needs of a 23-year-old babe and a 29-year-old lady are not the same in every context. And this makes women mad. They begin to gaslight and guilt-trip you over your choice of women. They begin to tell you that you are dating younger women because they are easy to manipulate and because their frontal lobe isn’t developed yet, they don’t really know what they want. Don’t fall for it. These are the same women who told you in uni that you were a small boy and that a 20-year-old girl is older than a 20-year-old boy. That is why I said I find Hypergamy very interesting. It benefits women first, but it is just turn by turn. The men benefit too, but later. Men don’t cry about the dynamics because they understand that the game has never been fair. They just lock in to become part of the men whom women want to date “up.” It is women who want to eat their cake and have it. The game doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings.