John Pitzel (@johnpitzel) header
John Pitzel (@johnpitzel) profile picture

John Pitzel

@johnpitzel

Fencer, grudging runner (HF #4598). 13.1 x 200+; 26.2 x23;50k x1; Zensah Ambassador, Duchy of Grand Fenwick Fencing Team Captain; FJR amBADASSador

 Kansas City, Missouri
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets11.6K
  • Following581
  • Followers251
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Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)Photo by John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)
support.rmhc.org/site/TR/Tea… Please feel free to contribute, even $5 or $10 will help!
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Almost 100K 🎉 Follow us and repost this for a chance to win free PC socks 🧦 Stacks of every color, one could be yours this November! #ProCompression #Giveaway #100K
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Well, my day just got a lot better. @peter_king
Image from John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)
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I made my goal! Final Team RMHC donation breakdown by piano notes: 8 Atkinsons 5 Sharks 7 Beethovens 1 Devil's Tower 1 Deep Purple 1 Monolith give.ronaldmcdonaldhouse.org…
John Pitzel's fundraising page for Ronald McDonald House Global

John Pitzel's fundraising page for Ronald McDonald House Global

Chicago 2026 - Fifth time lucky!

give.ronaldmcdonaldhouse.org
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@VictorinoMatus
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Hmmm. I’ll bet the @Royals and @hawaiianbros are happy. The team wins, and I miss another free huli-huli plate because I’m in London. Guys, for the right contribution, I’ll stay over here. #gottarespectthestreak
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Replying to @brooksrunning
@brooksrunning thank you for the opportunity to test the new Catspaw. (Picture attached)Here are a couple of quick impressions: 1. Although it works well on the road, it’s best on a cross country course. 2. Equally good for relaxing or quick dashes, not so much for long runs.
Image from John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)
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3. Foot strike is soft and almost inaudible 4. Self cleaning feature is genius!
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Can't make this up: A raccoon got drunk at a Virginia ABC store in Ashland and then passed out in the bathroom axios.com/local/richmond/202…
Left: Liquor store aisle with broken bottles and spilled liquid on the floor. Right: Raccoon lying on tiled bathroom floor near a white toilet and black trash can against beige walls.

ALT Left: Liquor store aisle with broken bottles and spilled liquid on the floor. Right: Raccoon lying on tiled bathroom floor near a white toilet and black trash can against beige walls.

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John Pitzel retweeted
Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) profile picture
Clay Travis
@ClayTravis6 Sep 2025
Susie from Alabama says if she wins the $2 billion power ball she’s going to use her first $70 million to pay Kalen DeBoer’s buyout. This is so great. God bless SEC football:
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Hotel which uses a live PANDA to wake up guests is rapped by local forestry bureau amid animal rights concerns trib.al/jShWdTJ

Hotel which uses a live PANDA to wake up guests is rapped

The Lehe Ledu Liangjiang Holiday Hotel, in the mountainous countryside near the southwestern city of Chongqing, advertise 'red panda-themed holidays'.

dailymail.com
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#mountaindew I am ready for the weekend.
Image from John Pitzel (@johnpitzel)
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He's running the Boston Marathon as a 'pinch runner' boston.com/community/boston-…
He's running the Boston Marathon as a 'pinch runner'

He's running the Boston Marathon as a 'pinch runner'

John Pitzel is running for a mother in need.

boston.com
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@karagoucher what is Boston going to be like?
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@AliOnTheRun1 I hope to hear you call my name at the finish
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givengain.com/project/john-r… @VictorinoMatus I kept waiting for you to say giving up the penny made cents.

Helping Mass Eye and Ear with Eli and Kris

Meet Eli Murner. Eli has Stargardt Disease. He’s a 20 year old college student now, studying marketing and is legally blind. I am running to raise money to help Eli’s doctor and the team at Mass Eye...

givengain.com
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I seek a Doritos fortune! 🤑🔮 You can seek your fortune too, just tap below to post and include @doritos, #DoritosCrash and #entry for the chance to win big! 21+/USOnly/NoPurchNec/Rules: bit.ly/40Kagkd
Want a chance to win?

Want a chance to win?

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I'm on @LAYS Team Classic ⭐️ #OnlyLays #Entry Tap below to play for a chance to win cash prizes throughout game day. NO PURCH. NEC. US ONLY. 18+. 2/9/25. RULES: lays.com/sweepstakes.
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I'm playing to win because fortune favors the bold!💰🔮 You can try your hand at winning too, just tap below to post and include @doritos, #DoritosCrash and #entry to enter for the chance to win! 21+/USOnly/NoPurchNec/Rules: bit.ly/40Kagkd
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Want a chance to win?

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Replying to @MLB
@MLB @buck we need every announcer to use “just a bit outside” on opening day.
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@richeisen
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Happy Giving Tuesday! Today is the online day to donate to various groups and causes. If you are looking to participate in Giving Tuesday, please consider helping those with Stargardt Disease, through a donation to my fundraiser for Team Eye & Ear: givengain.com/project/john-r…

Helping Mass Eye and Ear with Eli and Kris

Meet Eli Murner. Eli has Stargardt Disease. He’s a 20 year old college student now, studying marketing and is legally blind. I am running to raise money to help Eli’s doctor and the team at Mass Eye...

givengain.com
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@JohnLegere can you help for my first Boston? TIA.
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@thejessicadrake
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