John Solit

There's no hurrying a bus ride, I can tell you. You get on and you endure. @MichelleObama

Want to know the best way to let your family, friends, and everyone you've ever dated know things aren't going so great? Accidentally click 'Send LinkedIn Request to Entire Contact List.'

Babies and the elderly, together stinking, unrestrained and flailing, wildly complaining. Asking why are we here? What’s that? Who are you? And to all things, answering no. Food is everywhere. It’s the 5pm dinner rush and it is pure lawlessness. – at Washington, DC

Why is everyone else's mom's stuffing gross but yours is pure and wonderful?

Capers are the pickled flower buds of a subtropical shrub called a caper bush. If allowed to bloom, they look like this and they're called Flinders roses. So, you know, think about that the next time a caper is desperately rolling off of your bagel.

TaleSpin (the Disney cartoon featuring Jungle Book characters inexplicably working at a 1930s air freight delivery company) was originally supposed to star Launchpad McQuack from Duck Tales.

If it’s not burnt on the outside and frozen on the inside, is it really a fish stick? – at Washington, DC

There's no wrong way to eat a Reece's. However, eating four on a Monday morning certainly isn't advisable.

Walmart employs 2.3 million people. That’s the population of Paris. Imagine if every Walmart employee were Parisian. Wait don’t. – at Alexandria, VA

1997 FUTON EXEC College is starting and futon sales are low. We need a new sofa that is uglier less comfortable and makes more sounds that resemble farts. INVENTOR OF INFLATABLE FURNITURE *raises hand* – at Philadelphia, PA

My fav people are the chefs on Kitchen Nightmares who rate their food 10/10. Like, you know this show is called Kitchen Nightmares, right? – at Washington, DC

“Bomb cyclones” and “superstorms” and “sting jets.” Are meteorologists secret marketing geniuses? – at Washington, DC

Folks, you can get eclipse glasses and the DC public library for free. But you gotta do your summer reading. – at Washington, DC

I just published “What Do Italian Supercars, Moustaches, and the 1980s Have in Common?” medium.com/p/what-do-italian…

When did I start dreading the arrival of the mail? – at Washington, DC

Noise level comes up in nearly 100% of @tomsietsema live chats. I think he's obsessed. I know because I monitor it closely. I'm obsessed.

Pouring over the comments on an Alfa Romeo GTV about to sell on @Bringatrailer and reminded once again this is my favorite car website.

I figured, if I'm going to be at @KatiesCnC anyways, I might as well do something productive: katiescarsandcoffee.com/2017… #carsandcoffee

Finally, a little respect. nitter.cf/blakespot/status/83012…