Paddling.com is giving away a kayaks and a SUP. Check it out. swee.ps/uwtZswsQG
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
My ex : "Explain yourself"
Me : "Yourself" is used reflexively as the direct or indirect object of a verb or as the object of a preposition
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
People who shout it's 5:00 somewhere to justify drinking before happy hour... it's 7:00 AM somewhere too, ya sloppy drunks.
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
There is a 93% probability that my death will be a direct result of tripping over shoes in the middle of the night.
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
George W Bush had shoes thrown at him by a journalist and still didn't attack the media.
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
Roses are black. Violets are black. Life is black. My heart is black. Loneliness. Pain. Screams. A pony died in the forest. I shed no tears.
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
[making humans]
GOD: Put a thing on their face for breathing
ANGEL: Ok
GOD: And put boogers in it, lmao
ANGEL: Is everything ok at home?
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
Ok so please do Bannon next?
Fish in a barrel, Lorne. nitter.cf/philiprucker/status/82…
Politico reports Melissa McCarthy’s impersonation of Sean Spicer was damaging to his standing with Trump politi.co/2jWcrLr
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
(404): I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each others company this weekend.
(734): Your friend and I don't get along
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
(856): So before Superbowl weekend lets all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls AKA touchdown shots and kitchen crying
Chewy Shittwood retweeted
The Patriots will play the Raiders in Mexico City next year. If the Pats win Mexico has to pay for the wall.


















