professionally paranoid plighted prayer parasite 𐕣
middle star
Joined November 2019
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probably the most romantic thing you could imagine is we wake up next to each other, you smile at me all sleepily and say “how did you sleep?” and i say “pret—” and cough directly into your face and then i sit on the side of the bed and cough for three straight minutes
🌹❤️🔥💒🫦💫
BOSS: [abruptly] If you want to take a zillion year vacation, you need to scream the word “VACATION” into my face within the next eight days.
EMPLOYEE: That’s very specific, and unprompted.
BOSS: [distant] Who are you…? Where… do you live…?
EMPLOYEE: In my house.
BOSS: Ok.
who here wants to have my social security number and my banking info and full legal name and birthdate
Every time you go for a walk in the park, carry the special acorn for the special squirrel with you. Wear a shirt that says, “I have the special acorn for the special squirrel with me.” Then the special squirrel will know it can, but doesn’t have to, ask for the special acorn.
i think that you will write a brilliant novel, or even brilliant novels, or already have and still will, is what i’m thinking
last night i blew up on my new roommate for not closing our bedroom door, like i’d calmy asked him to many times, so that Dymphna doesn’t get out. i was sleep deprived, in a lot of physical pain. i just now told him about my other four cats. and i realized something about God:
