Mike Ballinger retweeted
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Mike Ballinger retweeted
REPORT: Andy Dalton was named to the Pro Bowl after 30 NFL QBs, 180 college QBs, 8,815 H.S. QBs, and 25 YMCA QBs all turned down invitations
Mike Ballinger retweeted
I'm concerned for Louisville & Kentucky players. The hair grease dripping from the collective heads of Pitino & Calipari is a safety hazard.
Washing away bodily fluids and disposing of the evidence. Am I covering up a crime or changing a diaper?
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My daughter eats food like the Cookie Monster. She crumbles it up and none of it actually goes in her mouth.
I'm in a bowling league and I refuse to throw strikes. If I'm paying $30/month I want at least 60 throws. I'm a value shopper.
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I'm so cool that I watch the Disney channel and eat Cheerios even when my daughter's not in the room.
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My wife went grocery shopping and then left the chili powder in the bedroom. Guess this is a hint that I need to spice things up in there.
Watching Sesame Street and all the characters are taking a bath together. That party got weird quick.
If Mike Holmgren and The Kool-Aid Man had a baby it would look like Andy Reid in his Kansas City Chiefs gear.
Elmo's been on TV for 40 years and they're still teaching him the alphabet. #slowlearner
Michelle Obama is advocating hip-hop in an effort to reduce childhood obesity. Guess she never heard of “BIGGIE,” “HEAVY D,” and “FAT Joe."
Before the series ends I would like for Justin Bieber, Amanda Bynes, Alex Rodriguez and Time Warner Cable to end up on Dexter's table.
My wife just said she dances like Shakira. I said "I agree if Shakira was dancing to Hips Don't Lie in a body cast." #Sleepingoncouch