also my mom keeps skipping meals or eating less than me and then snacking a lot in the middle of the night and not telling me about it so i just feel like a fucking fatass. but when i do it it's a disorder. how am i supposed to get better in this environment
she had a 100 cal vegan muffin for breakfast meanwhile i was sitting there with my 240 cal breakfast feeling like a Fat Chud and she only now confesses to eating a bunch while im asleep. A whole week of letting me believe my supposedly non disprdered mom is eating less than me
i wish my family understood that taking away all of my control under the guise of "encouraging recovery" is only making the disorder more cemented in my mind
> develop a disorder that's all about control
> family finds out and strips all control away
> "why aren't you getting better"
thank god my mom has no concept of calories cause all i have to do is volume eat and she is none the wiser and thinks im eating a lot and doing well in recovery
what i ate yesterday like 1200 calories or more idfk i feel so fat how tf do i lose weight fast while my whole family is on my ass about recovering and making me eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day
baked tofu with taco bell hot sauce and red pepper flakes for dinner #StruggleMeals
gave the cats a bath and venus scratched me so deep i dropped my phone into the bathtub and got blood everywhere but she looks funny wet

















