Based British Mouse 🐁

The aliens have landed. That’s the REAL reason for the ground stop. They don’t want to start a worldwide panic. They are blind but can hear like a motherfucker.

🚨BREAKING: The government has admitted that the asylum camp next to Piddington will pose a risk to women and girls living nearby, documents show The planning document also revealed concerns from local police chiefs about the "increased risk of crime" [@Telegraph]

Hi Joe, I have bad news. My chosen charity is The Blue Marine Foundation. My favourite cheese is Delice de Bourgogne. I’m Number 1 in the album charts. And you’re no longer called Joe. Much love, Ryan Air.

BBC boss hints at SCRAPPING poppy wearing on-screen after whingeing staff complain about symbol gbnews.com/celebrity/bbc-bos…

Piddington, are you ready to welcome your new neighbours? I’m so glad you voted Liberal Democrats and are pro migration ❤️ show the rest of Britain how it’s done and we will study the results over the next few months. Every household in the town should invite their new neighbours over for Sunday dinner the first weekend they arrive. Have fun 🤩 next time, use your brain at the ballot box. #RestoreBritain

🚨 WATCH: Andy Burnham shares stories over a cup of tea in a park