i miss those times when drawing brought me joy, fulfillment and excitement about future “creative career perspective”, not this suffocating sense of uselessness and burden i can’t get rid of for some reason. maybe because i’m afraid that it's the only thing that ever made me
special and gave my life meaning. maybe because i’ve spent too many years and effort on pursuing artistic development and genuinely (yet naively) believing this path is exactly what i’m here for. now all what’s left is “i have to” just because “i can”. it feels like my childhood
girl it’s getting worse again let’s draw dazai and od on trazodone #bsd
