His Dudeness IV

Just voted for all of the opposite candidates I want to win. If the result is anything like my parlay picks things should work out

I wish ESPN kept stats for cops. A fantasy league would be insane. “I don’t wanna join your league unless it’s full points per arrest” 😭

I miss birds

Started working construction and I swear it hasn’t rained in three fucking months

I’m so proud of you 🥲 #knicks

Hi my name is Patrick

Is chicken marketed to seafaring communities as “tuna of the land”?

To you, I’m wearing the same outfit every day. To me, I’m building a personal brand

Nothing beats the rush of snagging a few quick gulps straight from the milk gallon while the rest of your family lies asleep. God I’m so naughty

Nobody views my tweets so I might have to kill and eat someone now

You guys think if someone on acid were to watch the Lego movie in imax they would die?

People don’t like me bc I hop on aux and play them 11 minute Pink Floyd songs

Just found an Amish guy at the club. Nice job guys

Couldn’t even make it 29 days into 2026 without getting raped

Sipping my beer at the bar with two hands pretending I’m a cold pilgrim with a bowl of warm soup

About the time of the year where I sit down with a bottle of Pinot and re watch all of markipliers fnaf videos

Objectively speaking, Nikola Jokić is the best basketball player oat