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I gave my wife a rare locket for her birthday...
'Wow' she said, 'Eucalyptus flavour...'
#badjokethursday #LunchPun
A mysterious voice rang me last night, saying 'Timber...Board...Beam...Lumber...'
Turned out to be a plank call...
#MondayMirth
Spooky kid: Please can I play video games now?
Spooky parent: Not until you've finished your séance homework...
#HappyHalloween #sillysaturday
Chuck Norris....
Failing that, chucking anyone from Corrie will do...
#sillysaturday
It turns out I don't need the magical coleslaw to complete the main game - its more of a side quest...
#LunchPun
Not only was Socrates the father of modern philosophy, but according to my mate down the pub he also inspired Playdoh...
#BadJokeFriday
Noel Anthony Conway retweeted
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to:
Johns Hopkins Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center Fund
alzresearch.org/giving/
Alzheimer’s Foundation of America Caregiver Resources
alzfdn.org/donate/
Photo Credit: Tommy Garcia
I found learning 4D Chess rather difficult at first...
Thankfully other bra sizes are now available...
#badjokethursday #LunchPun
Noel Anthony Conway retweeted
#StarTrek has lost a star as the beloved actor, Walter Koenig, known as Russian crewman, Pavel Chekov, has sadly passed away at the age of 90. 🕊️
Read More: bit.ly/4z9Ak8m
'Too much heat melts the clotted cream, so I prefer mine as they're served in Devon.'
- Scone Cold Steve Austin
#BadJokeFriday
Noel Anthony Conway retweeted
Word of the day: SCAPABOBIDIDDYWIDDILYDOOBAPBAPAPHOBIA - the fear of freestyle jazz.
Hercules: What a magnificent ship you have to search for the Golden Fleece. Where did you find such a vessel?
Jason: Argos.
#LunchPun #badjokethursday
The house where the Village People live has a leaky roof...
...which serves them right for hiring a cowboy builder...
#LunchPun
Me: [delirious] ...Flash Gordon...I'll destroy your primitive planet...you impudent worm...
Doctor: Oh no - he's faux Ming at the mouth!
#sidesplittingsunday
The Doctor has recommended blood thinners...
It's a weight loss club in the LA underworld...
#BadJokeFriday
'Let me be clear - creased or wrinkled clothes will NEVER be tolerated in the White House!' said a Press Secretary...
#LunchPun
I just saw two wheeliebins have a boxing match...
They were professional though - nothing below the waste...
#badjokethursday
With tour costs spiralling out of control, two bands aim to save money by combining into one super group...
Tickets are now available for Boney M People...
#LunchPun










