That Dude in Mexico

A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.......

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last.

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist......." Last words of General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the US Civil War

Kafka's Law: In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

Laugh about your problems – everybody else does……..

There's a hell in every hello. Be careful. - There's a good in every goodbye. Be grateful.

We are judged by what we finish, not by what we start.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener......

A good example has twice the value of good advice.

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.......

People who complain about taxes can be divided into two categories - men and women.

I’d rather live with a good question than with a bad answer.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Sometimes we build walls around ourselves, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.