heading home after getting groceries late the friday night of halloweekend bc i knew it'd be a ghost town in there and everyone i pass looks like a teenager. i need a house in the suburbs to pass out candy my time is over

crustacean · Oct 30, 2026 · 9:01 PM UTC

crustacean@ripnotkellanOct 30

i was bob the tomato for work halloween. u can tell bc i wore a cross. also i made the little tomato hat myself

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crustacean · Oct 29, 2026 · 11:09 AM UTC

crustacean@ripnotkellanOct 29

having cats is so silly. why do i have an audience

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crustacean · Oct 28, 2026 · 1:51 AM UTC

crustacean@ripnotkellanOct 28

hand to god this is the funniest movie in the world to me but james has a multi year long cool down on rewatching with me

Certified💀@certifiedededeOct 27

This movie’s jokes sometimes are so fucking stupid they loop back around to being genius “Yes but not THIS Philippines” has stupid amounts of comedic potential

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crustacean · Oct 28, 2026 · 1:48 AM UTC

crustacean@ripnotkellanOct 28

not accepting atl slander when something as cruel and sinister as o'hare is out there

meg HEARD GEORGIA🫶🏻🛸@allofmegchangedOct 26

signs say “terminals A,B,C,D,E, and F” and my pass says terminal S and the lady just keeps repeating “terminals A through F” i genuinely need the atlanta airport to **** **

crustacean · Oct 27, 2026 · 12:43 AM UTC

crustacean@ripnotkellanOct 27

i hate the elderly and have decided they do not belong in the air. where could you possibly need to be at your big age

helmet girl's birthday is November 5 · Oct 26, 2026 · 3:23 AM UTC

crustacean retweeted

helmet girl's birthday is November 5@sbodrojanOct 26

what they don’t want you to know about Brockhampton summer is that it was awesome

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crustacean · Oct 24, 2026 · 1:39 PM UTC

crustacean@ripnotkellanOct 24

just whipped out the most dogshit parking job of my life. incredible

ssej · Oct 21, 2026 · 6:08 PM UTC

crustacean retweeted

ssej@sssej04Oct 21

웨일폴 (2026)

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one dozen rats at a keyboard · Oct 22, 2026 · 1:10 PM UTC

crustacean retweeted

one dozen rats at a keyboard@PanasonicDX4500Oct 22

Image from one dozen rats at a keyboard (@PanasonicDX4500)

Atlanta Falcons

@AtlantaFalconsOct 21

New PFP 👀

Image from Atlanta Falcons (@AtlantaFalcons)

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crustacean · Oct 20, 2026 · 11:21 PM UTC

crustacean@ripnotkellanOct 20

basketball #on phone #blowingup with 2FA codes i didn't request ok

James Holzhauer · Oct 20, 2026 · 6:48 PM UTC

crustacean retweeted

James Holzhauer

@James_HolzhauerOct 20

TMZ

@TMZOct 20

Jay-Z Chooses Himself to Be The 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show Performer: Report tmz.com/2026/10/20/jay-z-pic…

Jay-Z Chooses Himself to Be The 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show Performer: Report

Jay-Z -- the key decision-maker on who performs each year at the Super Bowl -- has reportedly made his choice for this year's big game, and it's none other than himself!

tmz.com

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