Robert Burleson

Your dog is concerned about you because although you’ve been staring intently at your laptop and pawing at it for several hours you haven’t caught a single squirrel.

Breaking a promise to your dog. Stepping on a wild flower, Folding a shirt poorly. [ moral weight: small but insistent ]

Reject the blockhouse, embrace the frontal assault.

Dunkirk from the German perspective is just “That time we went to the beach.”

Fallout 3 ruined gaming. There was a massively cynical vibe shift after that, everything became bloated and half-baked. Storylines became unserious afterthoughts - quantity over quality and content over mechanics.

It’s easy to hate Wes Anderson movies on principle, much harder to name 3 that are actually bad.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a Man in Black fleeing across a good-sized desert must be in want of a Gunslinger following him.

Mow the edge of your neighbor’s lawn a little more every week to colonize it and share the Light of Christ.

Approximately 13% of the Anthropology Department commits 1,000% of the crimes.

When Robert Eggars’ Werwulf comes out this Christmas, I bet a bunch of nostalgia accounts are going to start posting clips from The Wolfman (2010) and pretending like it’s a misunderstood classic.

It takes 20 years to make anything work but hype cycles only last 10 years.

When you ask to speak to a "representative" at Torchy's Tacos they send you to a better-sounding robot. Try calling them and placing an order - it fooled me for about 10 seconds until it started being oddly exact with details. This bullshit is the future of customer service.

Every good idea will be pushed to its breaking point precisely because it’s a good idea.

There are two wolves and they wander into my office around 3pm and vocally try to convince me to get off the computer and come play with them. This is a pretty miraculous development in the history of human/wolf relations. One which we should not take lightly.

How did this absolute comic genius fall so far?

Game balance is the most overhyped concept in entertainment. Competitive PvP games have ruined the thrill of discovery; the chaos and vividness of the creator's imagination relentlessly optimized away.

type of Frenchman who doesn’t bother with shampooing or revitalisant uses gel douche for everything

"Misbegotten" is such an underrated vicious insult.