caldon

Saying this about my friends when they din’t want to go to Toby Carvery with me

my dad calls him “ned sheeran”

he’s having a piece n love

looks great! :)

can we please just rename pollokshaws/shields east/west/fuckin wherever to avoid constant terror & confusion to people like myself who reserve their mental capabilities for abstract thought & innovation

so curious what his hot take on this could possibly be, but unfortunately if I listen to his voice for longer than 3 seconds I begin gathering the tools required to self-immolate, and have to be sedated by a medical professional before I end it all

why was I drinking baileys at 5pm in the middle of may

keeps frying me how much the guy looks like Matt Hancock the Westminster Shagger

in fairness, if you are familiar with shift work, you can end up spending so much time with certain people that this sorta thing starts passing for good chat

real ale for a real man

trying to stay organised in the middle of 6 kitchen shifts in the blistering heat

no limes in Lidl… fuckin state of this country

I hate the tone of this makes me think of when I’d ask my dad when dinner was and he’d go “it’ll be ready when it’s ready”

he’s not a nice man, but this is simply what people look like when they’re 150 years old

headed to the old country to find out nonna's recipe for the greggs pizza sauce

so is it just the same one t shirt in every video or what