Sachin Suresh Gurav

A SATYA CONFESSION TO MYSELF —— Ram Gopal Varma By the time SATYA was rolling to an end , while watching it 2 days back for 1st time after 27 yrs, I started choking with tears rolling down my cheeks and I dint care if anyone would see The tears were not just for the film, but were more for what happened since Making a film is like giving birth to a child originating from throes of passion without truly realising what kind of a child I am giving birth to That’s because a film is made in in bits and pieces without one really knowing what’s being made and when it is ready the concentration is on what others are saying about it and after that ,whether it’s a hit or not, I move on too obsessed with what’s next to reflect and understand the beauty of what i myself created Till 2 days back I ignored the countless inspirations it sparked by dismissing it as just another step in my journey towards an objective less destination Coming back to the hotel after the screening of SATYA, and sitting in the dark i I din’t understand why with all my so called intelligence, I did not set this film as a benchmark for whatever I should do in the future I also realised I didn’t just cry for the tragedy in that film but I also cried in joy for that version of myself .. And I cried in guilt for my betrayals of all those who trusted me due to SATYA I became drunk not on alcohol but on my own success and my arrogance though I didn’t know this till 2 days back When the bright lights of a RANGEELA or a SATYA blinded me, i lost my vision and that explains my meandering into making films for shock value or for gimmick effect or to make a vulgar display of my technical wizardry or various other things equally meaningless and in that careless process, forgetting such a simple truth that technique utmost can elevate a given content but it can’t carry it . Some of my later films might have been successful but I do not believe that any of them had the same honesty and integrity which is in SATYA My very unique vision that drove me to create something path breaking in cinema also blinded me to the value of what i myself made and I became a man hurriedly running so fast looking up towards the horizon. that I forgot to look down at the garden I’d planted beneath my feet , and that explains my various falls from grace I obviously can’t make any amends now for what I already did , but i promised myself 2 nights back while wiping away my tears , that every film I make from now onwards will be made with a reverence towards why I wanted to become a director in the 1st place I might not be able to make a film like SATYA ever again , but not even having an intention to do so is an unpardonable crime against Cinema I don’t mean that I should keep making films like SATYA but irrespective of the genre or the subject matter the least it should have is the sincerity of SATYA When Francis Coppola was asked by an interviewer about a film he made after GODFATHER, whether it will be as good , I could see him squirming because i could see that it din’t occur to him No one asked me about any film I was about to make post SATYA whether it will be as good, but what’s worse is that I din’t ask myself I so wish I could go back in time and made this one cardinal rule for myself , that before deciding on any film to make , I should watch SATYA once again… If I followed that rule I am sure I would not have made 90% of the films I made since then I truly mean this as a wake up call to every film maker , who just gets carried away in self indulgence due to his own state of mind at any given moment without measuring it against the standards set by either themselves or others Finally now i took a vow that whatever little of my life is left , I want to spend it sincerely and create something as worthy as SATYA and this truth I swear on SATYA

Hey #JDChekri When I saw the film last night I realised that u did not play a character, but u played an emotion What struck me most about your performance was the quiet intensity laced with intelligence . U played a man of few words, someone who carried the weight of some mysterious past with both his pain and anger which is buried deep within your heart and the only hint of that past comes in the cold way u say when Bhiku asks u about ur parents, that maybe they are dead ..The weight of those words I think is the only peek into ur soul in the entire film which is far more effective than to actually show the past From the way u walk in ur introduction scene of just coming into the city I felt that u were obviously new to the city but u were neither in awe of the city nor curious about it , indicating the introverted ness of ur character You made the transformation of Satya into becoming a criminal so believable that anyone can feel that given the same circumstances anyone might become a criminal The brilliance of your portrayal was in ur restraint by never overplaying a single emotion, whether it’s a flicker of hurt or anger, or every moment of joy in ur eyes when u were with Urmila .. In the scene after being humiliated and beaten early in the film, u sit alone, ur face blank yet ur eyes fill with a quiet determination. You conveyed an entire spectrum of emotions through the subtlest of gestures and almost un noticeable nuances in ur body language U added an enormous layer to the love story between Satya and Vidya by so very slowly revealing the softer, and more vulnerable side of Satya. The way you portrayed his love and longing without doubt were the most romantic scenes I ever saw .. You made Satya’s love for Vidya feel so unguarded and so sacrificial in nature that it was impossible not to root for him, even knowing the darkness in his mind Your chemistry with manoj which got set right after the way u blush in the van after kiling Jagga made the bond between Satya and Bhiku feel so special , largely because of the way you played as someone who always quietly observes and absorbs the chaos around Bhiku while still holding his own in every scene with him Whether it was in the friendship , the moments of tension, or the eventual tragedy, your introvertic body language with the extrovertic Manoj was what added an immensely heavy emotional weight to ur characters whole narrative. It was a sight to see u as a man trying to survive in a city and then as he becomes more and more entangled in the underworld, watching his moral compass shift, his priorities change, and to see his humanity slowly eroding. You portrayed Satya’s descent with such nuance that it was almost imperceptible until the devastating end. Only by the time Satya realizes the cost of his choices, I as an audience, felt the full impact of ur journey both as an actor and a character In a scene within the gang the controlled fury in your performance is absolutely chilling and at the same time, the moments where Satya reflects on his choices, often in silence, are equally powerful. You made every gesture and every look in ur eyes count, ensuring that even in a film filled with so many extraordinary performances, your silence spoke loud