caroline (@shelleddiva) header
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babygirl genius

none of your business!!!
Joined June 2014
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the reason allistic people do that has a lot to do with their own communication norms. it pains them to spell things out. they also cannot imagine what it’s like to have social blindness/deficits. they’re viewing you from the lens of allistic social/communication norms.
Replying to @beeebutts
As an autistic person im so over ppl telling me “you know what you did” & then never explaining bc I WANT to be able to correct anything i do that’s upsetting someone or something i did wrong. So that leads me to believe its just some weird them thing that I can’t do anything abt
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i was going to tear into this thread until i read this reply and realized how stupid this person must be.
Socially and human relationship wise, psychopaths and autists share nearly the same pathology. At least in their most notable psychological trait. Both the psychopath/sociopath and the autistic's functioning in human emotional connection, the understanding of and reverence for human emotional connection, and the use of and recognition of their associated social cues is abnormal. Lacking. They don't seem to have the innate program that runs unconscious emotional understanding which comes stock for most humans. Their brain does not do this in the way that most people's do without them having to try. Psychopaths and artists have to learn this and consciously try. And yet psychopaths are deemed villains for this while the autistic mostly garner sympathy, patience and help from others. Why are psychopaths the villains and autists the long suffering unsung heroes? Because the psychopathic mind has figured out how to utilize this trait towards their own gain and the autist hasn't? I think we revere psychopathic traits whether we like to admit it or not and as such we view them as higher on the social hierarchy and powerful whereas reviews the artistic as low on the social hierarchy and inconsequential. They are victims of their abnormal psychology and should be helped. Nobody views psychopaths as victims of their abnormal psychology. Because they've taken their lack, their weakness, their abnormality and utilized it toward its strengths. Take your own weakness and use it as a strength.
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there have even been studies more recently proving autistic people are generally more generous than allistic people. that allistic people reserve their warmth for those they approve of. any autistic person could’ve anecdotally proven that. but now it’s repeated defined data.
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neglecting the fact that autistic social deficits have more to do with the cognitive disability than anything is harmful. making this conflation will lead to people feeling emboldened to villainize harmless autistic traits (more than they already do).
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my favorite part is how the comment trying to correct them is also wrong. nonverbal is a term pretty specific to autism & is not something that just happens occasionally. those who are nonverbal are just nonverbal. it’s a constant state, anything else is mutism or shutdown.
i’m really about to lose my mind
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i know why it’s happening but i really need allistic people to remember that words like “overwhelmed” or “needing quiet time” still exist. it’s not merely hyperbolic to say they’re nonverbal it’s entirely incorrect. classic “don’t know what it means but i like the way it sounds.”
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and to be fair even fellow autistic people need to know that certain terms like nonverbal aren’t for them either! if you aren’t a nonspeaking autistic person it doesn’t apply to you. it’s as i said earlier mutism or just a shutdown. the language we use matters.
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caroline retweeted
Trying to explain this people is really hard. Hurt feelings get treated like proof of a boundary violation instead of what they often are…the normal cost of two people having different needs, priorities, or capacities..
I think one consequence of how much we've popularized the language of boundaries and emotional safety is that ppl are becoming less comfortable with the fact that perfectly legitimate decisions can still hurt other people.
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we need to release people from the delusion that you can control your “annoying” autism symptoms or really any of your autism symptoms
Saw someone on tiktok say "You're not being picked on because you're autistic you're just not controlling your Annoying Symptoms" and I can say this person hasn't been properly bullied bc they don't understand how ppl will annoy you just to see your reaction because They Know
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if autism were a more behavioral or personality based disorder then yeah you could probably control the behaviors more. but autism is a neurodevelopmental disability. we speak, think, move, & act, the way we do because our brains developed atypically.
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really my main argument is that even if you implement masking or you mimic behaviors you see in allistic people, there will always be an uncorking. there is always potential energy created by stifling your autism symptoms. eventually that tension breaks and it will be 10x worse!
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