harshil

Oh no…guys…I think I might be a Karan (Indian male Karen).

Props to the overworked junior attorney that included this in their doc review findings and it making it into the official complaint with the Delaware Court of Chancery.

I know my self-esteem is low when the 💅🏽 emoji isn’t in my recents

The funniest part of every movie/TV show is when they force tired, uninterested extras to portray angry, impassioned protesters.

Always feel self-conscious starting a book in the park...I swear I’ve read before!!

Do you sign up to receive USPS text message updates of every shipment stage for your packages or are you normal? (My lint rollers just arrived to a distribution center in Sacramento FYI)

Has anything ever been “a little to the chagrin” of something?

I’m at the “just watched a half-hour documentary all about Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me” stage of quarantine.

A little late to this but just wanted give Jim Carrey props on what a monster year he had in ‘94.

Yes the NYC fireworks all night are very annoying but it’s done wonders for setting the mood during my nightly recital of the entire Les Mis soundtrack.

Kanye: What you think I rap for, to push a fuckin' Rav 4?!? Also Kanye: Gap’s cool tho.

Pro tip: use pre-covid orgy ground rules at post-covid dinner parties! “Don’t be nervous, everyone here has been tested. If you feel uncomfortable with any touching, say the safe word. No more than 3 ppl inside at once. When in doubt, wash your hands. ALWAYS keep your mask on 😏”

THIS IS THE FUTURE LIBERALS WANT

~cancel culture~ would be a good name for a fashion line if it weren’t already taken by our national pastime

This tweet is NOT gonna age well.......oh sorry no controversial statement here or anything it just has a lot of congenital issues.

Happy belated Father’s Day. If I wasn’t too shook by this flex I coulda had fast enough internet to know it was yesterday.

My weird kink is that I like being left on “read”

It’s been a stressful morning.

I’m halfway through reading this New Yorker recipe and still can’t tell if it’s satire or not.

MOVIE PITCH Shazam: sequel to Kazaam (1996) where no one can identify songs anymore so genie Shaq has to memorize the discography of the world but fails when he gets to Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours and accidentally gets obsessed.