Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm) header
Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm) profile picture

Ted Byzynski

@slipperywerm

I have never made a poorly designed car that explodes.

Joined May 2009
  • Tweets24.7K
  • Following368
  • Followers639
1KMedia
Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)Photo by Ted Byzynski (@slipperywerm)
If I went to the moon I'd try to jump very high.
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Ted Byzynski retweeted
Cargoblitz (@CargoBl1tz) profile picture
Cargoblitz@CargoBl1tz9h
You are hiding BBWs in your basement are you not?
Image from Cargoblitz (@CargoBl1tz)
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me after they make face sitting illegal
Image from maddy line ૮ ˶′ﻌ ‵˶ ა (@BigApeHates12)
Jack D 🏳️‍🌈 (@JackDunc1) profile pictureJack D 🏳️‍🌈
@JackDunc120h
I'm sorry but this is absolutely fucking ridiculous. I thought it was a joke. The concept of going to prison for being in 'possession' of facesitting porn. 😭😭😭
Image from Jack D 🏳️‍🌈 (@JackDunc1)
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Finally strong enough to shower for the first time since Monday. Who want me?
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My penis is stuck inside of a Gatorade bottle, help me @Gatorade
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Every Israeli company is a terrorist cell waiting to be activated.
ADAM (@adamemedia) profile pictureADAM
@adamemediaOct 28
BREAKING: 🇪🇸 At least 68 people have died and 80 others injured after a train crash in Spain. Investigators say it’s due to an “inexplicable” safety error after a “widespread computer communications failure.” It’s the THIRD train crash in Spain this year. ISRAEL warned Spain they would pay a “heavy price” and for some reason an Israeli railway cyber firm recruited Spain’s former railway safety chief/transport secretary… 🤔 May God rest their souls and bring ease to their families 🙏🏼
Image from ADAM (@adamemedia)
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Ted Byzynski retweeted
Rebekah Jones (@GeoRebekah) profile picture
Rebekah Jones
@GeoRebekah15h
TWITTER IS BLOCKING THE LINK TO THE ICE DATABASE. So here it is in a picture:
Image from Rebekah Jones (@GeoRebekah)
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I'm gonna start an organization to smuggle face sitting porn into the UK.
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Image from perfect little soup boy (bald) (@BelugaJames)
DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) profile pictureDiscussingFilm
@DiscussingFilm18h
First look at the ‘DUNE: PART 3’ popcorn bucket.
Image from DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm)
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Ted Byzynski retweeted
F I N N (@B00fus) profile picture
F I N N@B00fus18h
OI BRUV U GOT A LOICENSE TO SIT ON THAT FACE?
Image from F I N N (@B00fus)
Goddess Lilly 🧛🏻‍♀️ (@paygoddesslilly) profile pictureGoddess Lilly 🧛🏻‍♀️
@paygoddesslillyOct 29
The UK is actually so fucking boring what do you mean you can’t enjoy some face sitting after a succulent chinese meal?
Image from Goddess Lilly 🧛🏻‍♀️ (@paygoddesslilly)
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Save me from covid irish breakfast tea and fried potatoes
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Ted Byzynski retweeted
Trung Phan (@TrungTPhan) profile picture
Trung Phan
@TrungTPhan17h
the AMC employee when you and your buddy ask for the Dune 3 popcorn bucket with 20 pumps of butter and no popcorn
DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) profile pictureDiscussingFilm
@DiscussingFilm18h
First look at the ‘DUNE: PART 3’ popcorn bucket.
Image from DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm)
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and for the lady, some warm gatorade
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Ted Byzynski retweeted
Kai (@Tasnyx) profile picture
Kai
@TasnyxOct 28
A lot of people talking about the h3 podcast over the last week choose to focus on the negatives and that doesn’t sit right with me. I think the greatest positive lesson we can learn from it, is that you don’t have to be particularly interesting or funny or even good at your chosen medium technically or literally to make a million dollars doing it. So don’t let the fact that you’re talentless and stupid and not particularly interesting stop you from pursuing your dreams ❤️
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It's covid! And one of my worse rounds with it too.
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I hope israel just has a civil war here.
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Woke up at 4 am sick and called out. My day has gotten worse on symptoms since then
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All my joints hurt, my muscles are in agony, I keep hacking shit up, and I'm so tired I basically napped all day. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
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Ted Byzynski retweeted
NYTPitchbot (@DougJBalloon) profile picture
NYTPitchbot
@DougJBalloonOct 26
Whether it's Republicans not being allowed within 200 feet of a Chuck E. Cheese or Democrats making jokes about a Cheesecake Factory, both side have a fraught relationship with chain restaurants.
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Ted Byzynski retweeted
millgirl (@rmalldg) profile picture
millgirl@rmalldgOct 26
Iroquoian-Vietnamese names have a certain Genessee Quan
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