Oh, you're writing CUDA kernels? Everyone's on Triton now. Just kidding, we're all on Mojo. We're using cuTile. We're using ROCm. We have an in-house DSL compiler targeting the NVGPU MLIR dialect but wait, Tile IR just dropped so we're going to target that instead. Our PM is on TileLang. The team lead was on CuTe but now she's back to handwriting PTX. If you're not on Pallas, you're ngmi. Our intern is building on TT-Metalium for our Wormholes. Our CFO approved an order for some big chungus wafer-scale chips so now we're porting our kernels to CSL. Our CTO is working on a kernel-less graph compiler so we won't need to write kernels anymore. Our CEO thinks we're talking about the Linux kernel. We're building Claude for dogs.